ArkansasA buxom blond high school teacher from Arkansas is accused of having repeated sex with one of her teen students in the school’s parking lot. English teacher Courtney Speer, 31, is out on $20,000 bail awaiting formal charges after turning herself in to police… Cops said they got a call from Bryant High School on Monday after an unidentified tipster reported her alleged sexual relationship with her former 9th grade student who’s now 17 years old. Speer resigned immediately amid a probe of allegations she had sex with the student at her house in nearby Benton and on school grounds in Bryant. “In our city, there were four different occasions during which she allegedly had sex with the student in the parking lot. It was in a car,” Sgt. Todd Crowson with the Bryant Police Department told The News. He said Speer is married with two young children.

This is really sad.  Pathetic.  I seems like every grade in every town has that kid who hangs out around his old school because those were the best years of his life and he just can’t move on.  Seriously, there’s nothing sadder than someone’s who’s life peaked too soon.  I mean, look at this kid.  I’m sure he was king of the world back in his freshman year, banging Mrs. Speer like this.  But c’mon dude.  You’re 17 now.  You’re a senior.  Time to move on.  What, you can’t get one of your current teachers to bone you in the school parking lot because you’re too much of a hasbeen so you’ve got to go back to your old conquests?  That’s just some seriously weak cheese.  If you’re ever going to make it in this world, you’ve got to learn to let go of the past.  It’s like Patton said when asked if he’d consider falling back and regrouping: “I never conquer the same territory twice.”  Words to live by.

The Grades:
Looks:
  Any time an article starts out like this, you expect better.  But this is one of those times where the words “buxom blond” are just a tabloid term for “big, saggy funbags and a bad bleach job.”  And is it me or is she the most 44ish 31 year old we’ve seen all year?  Still, she’s not bad.  But the youth soccer sidelines of America are teeming with moms who look exactly like her.  Dime a dozen.  Though I would, and so would you.  Grade: B-
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment:
The best part about the school parking lot sex… and there are many, many good things about it… is that the Bryant PD is aware that she did it four times.  So first three are freebies, and the fourth one is a crime.  I guess that’s Arkansas’ “Four Balls and You Perp Walk” policy.  Grade: A
Intangibles:
At some point I’m going to have to do a study on the relationship between Sex Scandal Teachers and porn names.  Because I swear is Courtney Speer/Spears isn’t one, it should be. It just seems like there’s a cause-effect thing going on here. Grade: B
Overall:
  B.  Solid, and could be on the roster bubble for the end of the year awards.

(Thanks to Terrell B.) Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students?  Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.