Ohio – A Wayne High School Spanish teacher was caught performing a sex act on a 16-year-old student while in her vehicle near Canal Lock Park, according to Huber Heights police and court documents. Kelsey L. Hartmann, 27, a married Centerville resident, is accused of three felony counts of sexual battery involving a minor. A police report said an officer observed a black Jeep with fogged windows at 5:53 p.m. Nov. 21 on Endicott Road in Huber Heights….  Hartmann admitted committing an offense to a Huber Heights detective …According to the police report, the minor stated he had unprotected sex with Hartmann two days earlier in her husband’s vehicle. The boy also told police the teacher started flirting with him at the end of last school year, mostly in phone calls or texts, according to reports. The police report states that after the officer knocked on the window of the Jeep, “the female was shaking nervously and the male just sat there still and quiet.” …The boy said he was going to go to the movies on his own but that Hartmann texted him and asked to pick him up in her vehicle, the report said.

November 21st was Thanksgiving Eve.  THE biggest going out night of the year.  Way bigger than New Year’s Eve, which is Amateur Hour. The night before Thanksgiving was always the night we’d go to some weird bar in Weymouth that we never set foot in the rest of the year and it would always turn into a defacto high school reunion.  To the point where I’d forgotten what turkey tasted like without a crippling hangover.  And our girl Kelsey Hartmann spent it leaving her husband at home peeling yams and rolling out pie dough so she could pull a kid out of a movie theater, take him down to Canal Lock Park and honk his bone.  It’s teachers like her that I was most thankful for this holiday season.  I can’t wait to hear what she does for the lad at Christmas.

The Grades:
Looks: I kind of like her combination of Slutty White Trash and Goth Girl Badness.  I know this comparison gives Kelsey way too much credit, but she kind of reminds me of a busted Avril Levigne.  Let’s call her Avril Levigne after she’s been married to Chad Kroeger for a few years. Grade: B-
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Seducing the kid via text.  Car sex before 6 o’clock at night.  Riding him bareback two nights earlier.  Detouring the kid away from  a quiet holiday evening of going to see “Wreck It Ralph” by himself for a steamy front seat hummer.  There’s nothing not to like here.  Grade: A
Intangibles: Call me a hopeless romantic.  Call me a fan of sappy movies that were written for 15 year old girls.  But the whole steamy Jeep window thing just reminds me too much of the car sex scene from Titanic for me not to give this a Grade: A
Overall:  B
[Thanks to @vincefromdelhi and @myman_mitch] Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students?  Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.