Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
FRESNO, Calif. (KFSN) — A 34-year-old female teacher at Kerman High School was arrested this week for allegedly having a sexual relationship with a student. Kerman Police arrested Maria Angelica Vega on Tuesday at the school district offices, where she and the alleged victim, a 17-year-old boy, admitted to the relationship. Vega has been released from custody and is awaiting the filing of formal charges by the District Attorney’s Office. The Kerman Unified School District is conducting an investigation into the allegations. Police say there are no indications the sexual activity occurred on campus.
Action News reporter Gene Haagenson deserves an Emmy or a Pulitzer or whatever it is they give to local reporters because this is an absolute bravura performance by him. I couldn’t have been easy for ol’ Gene to do that furrowed-brow, super-serious reporter voice like he was reporting on a robbery or a fire. Hell, he deserves a Nobel just for the way he stayed in character while he was interviewing Juan Jimenez at the end. You know he wanted to high five him and go “You’re damn right, Juan my man! Bitch is slammin’!!!” And Juan’s “She can do whatever she wants to do” might be the unofficial motto of the entire Sex Scandal Teacher movement.
The Grades:
Looks: Ay carumba! Book the hall, Maria. You’re a first ballot Sex Scandal Teacher All Star this year. Check out the picture at 1:40 of the video and I’m sure it will remove all doubts. Grade: A.
Moral compass/ Bad Judgment: Meep. We could’ve used more salaciousness. Let’s hope for more details. Grade: D.
Intangibles: In the kid’s first language, that would be ¿Cómo le gustaría a lanchas motoras estos chicos malos? Way to help assimilate young Latinos into our culture, Senorita Vega. Grade: B.
Overall: A-. Again, short on the details, but there’s no way I want this chick missing out on the end of the year awards.
(Thanks to Andrew Y.)
[Know of a hot female teacher who can't keep her mitts off the students? Or maybe one that's not so hot but seduced a kid in a funny, stupid reckless way? Send it along to jerry@barstoolsports.com]
I mean even by today’s PC standards, is there really anyone out there who considers a 17 year old dude a victim of sex abuse when he’s banging a hot chick? More imporantly can anyone tell me exactly when the flip was switched on dating teens? Listening to sirius 70s station was like an ode to banging underage chicks. You’re 16 by Ringo Starr, Christine 16 by Kiss….. ah the good old days.
wicked…. cant forget “young girl” by gary puckett and the union gap!
haha seriously tho, lets wake up with this smokeshow… free tee shirt to whoever gets some pics!
from pres, not me
x If I already speak english, is it too late to learn it as a second language?
These pics are clearly Myspace magic. This beaner is at least 200 pounds. Look at the arms on her @ 1:40
Yeah, you may want to bring this one in for a physical before you pencil her in as a starter, Jerry. Make sure she’s in game shape.
I would still refry her beans though. No doubt.
I will do what I can to get an update on the true Smokeshowness of Miss Vega, if I have to go out like a photog and snap pics of her coming out of the courthouse.
http://talent6.com/portfolio/1092943
Also, any more info on this month’s cover girl Pres?
Need more bathroom material
Good job, Jay. Sure hope she wasn’t trying to inspire her students to consider a career writing English narrative.
“I am a small, but ambitious person. I believe that everything is achievable. As a high school teacher, I’d like to inspire my students to reach for the stars, and do not let anyone tell you you can’t achieve. I grew up in a small, ugly town in Fresno County. “