Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

Australia – A FORMER Ballarat teacher who had sexual liaisons with two high school students sent more than 1300 text messages to the boys, including naked photos of herself, a court heard yesterday. Michelle Lynn Dennis, 33, is facing jail over the child sex offences committed in 2007 against two students, aged 14 and 17, outside the school’s grounds. She pleaded guilty. The County Court in Ballarat was told during a plea hearing that Dennis was teaching at Ballarat High School when she started sending sexual text messages to one of the boys in 2005. By the time of her arrest in October 2008, she had sent more than 1000 messages, some containing naked photographs of herself, to the boy, and more than 300 to the other boy. A friend of one of the victims also received a text message from Dennis suggesting a threesome. The court was told the music teacher had sex with one of the boys twice, and she had oral sex with the other boy. Crown prosecutor Brendan Kissane said Dennis collected one of the victims from near his home one night and drove him to a park where they had sex. Afterwards, she sent texts telling him how good it was. He said that at another time, Dennis offered to drive him home but instead took him to her house for sex. The court was told Dennis drove the other boy to her house to watch television and she gave him alcohol before engaging in oral sex. Both boys told their friends about the sexual liaisons. One boy said in his victim impact statement that the incidents caused him to perform badly at exam time. He said he felt dirty, embarrassed and ashamed.

Boy, you know what, this whole Sex Scandal Teacher pandemic doesn’t quite seem so amusing when you hear what it does to these kids.  I mean, you hear a victim impact statement like that and it pulls at your heart strings.  It’s all fun and games until someone’s test scores start suffering.  Imagine being a 14 year old kid, dealing with the trauma of having an attractive 33 year old sending you naked pictures, giving you head on her couch, suggesting 3-ways, banging you in her car then texting you later to say how good your were.  It’s no wonder the dirtiness, embarrassment and shame hurt him in those exams.  And the massive, raging boner, ear to ear grin and hero worship from all your classmates aren’t going to help you focus either.

The Grades:
Looks: A poor man’s Lauren Graham.  Grade: A.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: Where do you begin?  Usually I’ve got to edit these stories down to just the most salacious facts.  But which part of this belongs on the editing room floor?  It’s got everything.  Nude photos, sex, group sex, oral, a MILF.  It’s like the Redtube “Categories” page come to life.  She even has a pornish name.  Grade: A.
Intangibles: There’s one word that comes to mind when I hear about Michelle Lynn Dennis: “dedication.”  You know what 1300 texts cost?  Even unlimited text plans have a limit eventually. You have got to really want to spread teenage horniness to put your money, and your reputation, on the line like that.  But we’ve come to expect nothing less from music teachers with the middle name “Lynn.” And extra credit for being from Down Under.  Grade: A.
Overall: Definitely pushing for a spot on our year end all star lineup.  This caliber of utter recklessness cannot go unrewarded.  Bravo, maestro.  Grade: A.

(Thanks to Chris P.)

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