KentuckyA du Pont Manual biology teacher has resigned after being charged Friday with unlawful transaction with a minor for allegedly providing beer to a 17-year-old male with whom she was found in a parked car. Carrie M. Shafer, 38, of Ashburton Drive, was cited Friday evening after an officer reported finding her and the boy partially unclothed in a car at the canoe launch at William F. Miles Park in southeast Jefferson County. The police report said there was evidence of contraceptive and alcohol use. The unidentified minor told police Shafer gave him beer, according to the report… Shafer was affiliated with duPont Manual’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes, which noted on its Facebook page Monday that she is “in our thoughts and prayers,” but the organization must “move on.” The Manual RedEye, the student online publication, briefly reported Shafer’s resignation on its website Monday.

Is there anything as exciting as that first moment when you realize you’re looking at the Next Big Thing?  As witnessing the debut of the next great superstar who’s going to dominate for a generation?  Like the first time you saw Kevin Durant light it up or Stephen Strasburg’s first game last year where you knew you were seeing the birth of a legend.  Well that’s how I felt watching this video.  Carrie Shafer has it all.  Smoldering MILFish good looks.  That lethal combination of sexiness and “I can relate to these kids on their own level” familiarity.  And apparently some really innovative ways of teaching the human body.  She is a Sex Scandal Teacher superstar emerging right before our eyes.  And that moment when she was talking and they posted the graphic “Miss Shafer: Anatomy” was her Michael Jordan scoring 60 against the Celtics in the playoffs.  Her “I’ve arrived” moment.

The Grades:
Holy crap.  You don’t even have to grade her on the “OK for a teenage boy” scale.  If Carrie was in your social circle, say one of your friend’s wives or the mom of some kid you coach, she’d be the ones all the ordinary wives would hate because they know their husbands are dying to bang her.  Absolutely a no-brainer Grade: A.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment:
I guess we can assume “evidence of contraceptive use” is copspeak for “used rubbers”?  Niiice.  Grade: A.
Off the charts.  More double entendres than I can count.  She teaches anatomy.  At Manual High.  The student website is “The RedEye.”  And the cub reporter in that video is Rod Cox.  Adding these up I had to double check that I didn’t get this story off The Onion by mistake.  Grade: A.
:  A solid A.  Not only is she a mortal lock for the end of the year awards, Carrie Shafer may someday make the Sex Teacher Hall of Fame.
(Thanks to Josh)

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