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Special Saturday Edition of Guess That Ass
And the answer is obviously SJU. SJU is what Sara Jean Underwood’s friends calls her. Anyway when I picked SJU up at the airport she was pretty, but my dick didn’t fall off or anything. But when she walked downstairs all dolled up and ready to go it was Lights, camera, action! Every bit as hot in person as she is in pictures. Stomach to die for. Eyes like rubys. Ass for days. She was also very nice and cordial. Killed it as the host of Barstool Singled Out. Unfortunatly she was not buying what the Pres was selling the entire night. Just repelled every line I threw at her. She didn’t drink so I couldn’t roofie her. She was strictly business. No 1 on 1 nookie time for me. No late night rendezvous. In fact if somebody asked her what Barstool Sports is today I still don’t think she’d know. Oh well. Still worth it to drool over her.
Also this will be the first and last dating event we try. Not the best turnout of all time. I guess that’s what I get for trying to think outside the box. Keep it simple stupid. Too bad too because the event was actually fun for people who played and would have been awesome with tons of people, but just didn’t happen. Say what you want about me but I’ll be the first to brag when we kill it and first to say we sucked when we sucked. That event kind of sucked besides SJU.
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Sounded fun, unfortunately I live 2 hours away. Any reason why nobody came?
better job molesting the girl pres…got the hand on the ass this time
no idea. fickle business. I guess people didn’t like the idea. B’s didn’t help but I think it was more people didn’t like the idea
Bruins game 1 was that night
You beat me to it… Definitely the B’s game… Nothing was making me leave the TV with that on.
At least you’re man enough to admit it. Prolly a little to gimmicky and the talent is way past relevancy no matter how hot she may be.
Pres I love the stool but I’ve been to the parties and theyre 90% dudes (as is your readership so it’s to be expected). Im not gonna tell u how to do it better cuz I have no idea but what do u expect when your sites target demographic is primarily dudes
you promoted that bullshit nonstop for a month straight. ppl got sick of hearing about it, plus it was a thursday, plus during a b’s game, plus go fuck yourself
It’s pretty fucking simple dude, stop hosting gimmicky events (and no more shitty concerts with one hit wonders) and just strictly host bar events and parties, like Halloween. Your demo is dudes in their 20s, all they want to do is drink and fuck, so stick with shit that facilitates that.
1. no one gives a fuck about the bruins, so stop pretending they do. i don’t care if you’re a fan, there are more people with narcolepsy in boston then there are bruins fans.’
2. i don’t buy it’s the concept that’s the issue, unless everyone is that pussy they don’t wanna play a dating game at a bar. it’s not like you’re locking in and have to do whatever they say, people kept walking off and doing their own thing.
3. i think it’s actually because it wasn’t promoted enough. there were a few posts here and there, but not enough info was given, like the fact there was no cover was sweet, but people (including myself) assumed their was a cover because nothing about it was mentioned. so not sure if it was just a shitty time with school, or if it’s risky doing a thursday night vs a friday or saturday, but don’t for one second think the bruins can make that kind of impact. place was deserted and not all of the bruins fans in new england attending would have filled up the venue, it was huge.
ammendment to 2, and it’s not like you had to do the game, you could just stalk SJU if you wanted.
Was that the real president in Pic 11?
Chris Slade….
…. Shut the fuck up your clearly NOT from Boston
i second you suck. you’re a fucking idiot
A wise man man once said stop fucking hiring sluts and whores for stupid events and start with hiring dj’s for actual partys. No one cares about a hot hostess that they can’t hook up with. Bring the regular sluts and hire a good dj and let the mafgic happen.
Chris Slade is a moron for multiple reasons, not the least of which is claiming this wasn’t promoted enough.
Also, I wouldn’t know Sara Jean Underwood from any other good looking chick, but then again I don’t spend all day browsing the internet for fake looking bitches. I cant reiterate enough just how little most dudes care about useless chicks like this.
Yo Pres, who brought Pres Obama in pic #11?
Ok yea try to act like you all care now it’s playoffs. Clearly not from Boston yup, only been here my while life and have pats season tix but you’re right.
Ever notice how bruins fans have an air of superiority and never shut the fuck up about how big fans they are and what pride they have in the team and are the only real fans, etc? If someone’s a bruins fan you never hear them shut up about it, when talking to OTHER PEOPLE FROM BOSTON. Do sox/celts/pats fans do that? No, cuz they know no one cares what they say since everyone is already a fan of those teams by default. It’s a fact hockey is a joke here, when they get knocked out again you’ll realize how little people actually care. Heck, with its rate of expansion, the frickin MLS will be bigger than the NHL in 10 years.
Wow, chris slade has never been to boston huh? Stupidest mother fucker on here.
If you don’t like hockey then continue to ignore it, just don’t claim that no one gives a fuck about it until you have some proof. My anecdotal evidence has shown that many many people give many many fucks. So why don’t you fuck a bag of dicks?
Yea, you must be a naive motherfucker to think anyone cares about the bruins huh?
Yea that guy has no idea what he’s talking about.. Been in Boston your life huh? What part?
So where did you find all these “facts” about hockey being a joke? I just want to check your sources
Chris Slade has clearly never been in a bar in Boston. I saw 10x more Bruins jerseys last night (on a non-game night) than any Red Sox shit you douche.
Here’s what you do. Grab a clipboard, and walk around Boston for the day. Ask everyone you see to name 1 player each on the celts, pats, sox, bruins.
Tom Brady Wes Welker
Paul Pierce Kevin Garnett
David Ortiz Josh Beckett
Uhhhhh…Bobby Orr?
I’ll give you my checking account if the bruins don’t come in last in your poll.
The kids prob from the sticks
nice giraffe neck asshole
You are a fucking moron. Just because it might be the least popular of the 4 majors in Boston, doesn’t mean that no one cares. I don’t even know what to say someone as stupid as you.
I probably would make more money working my own job that day, but have you actually done that? Have you taken a poll of random people from Boston to justify all the bold claims you’re making? Or do you just not like hockey and generalize that to everyone around you and then made up facts as a rationalization?
HEY – don’t you fuckers recognize that Chris Slade made Jenna?? Better show the kid the respect he deserves. Bwahahaha….who am I kidding, fuck that kid. can go kill himself for all I care.
Yea concrete you moron. Cuz bruins fans feel that chip on their shoulder and try so much harder than all the normal fans to be noticed and say what big fans they are. Sox fans don’t need to do that cuz it’s a given in any Boston bar everyone already is a sox fan.
Walk around Boston for a whole day an write down the amount of people that are actually from Boston.. Just becuase sportcenter doesn’t show hockey highlights like they do for every other sport doesn’t mean there no fans
Chris slade:
1) you’re an asshole
2) hockey generally is the least popular of the four “major American sports”, yes, but that is a national issue, not exclusive to Boston by any stretch.
3) there is a significant difference between hockey and playoff hockey, for my money NHL playoffs are right behind NFL in terms of excitement (This coming from someone who hasn’t been to a bruins game all year but had Celts season tix for years and prefers basketball to all sports). Playoff hockey is intense, thus the excitement from “casual fans”.
P.S. Your cunts in the sink
Pres, can’t begin to tell you how much of a queef you sound like when you talk about trying to bang these chicks. Everybody knows the first lady has your balls in a tightly sealed Folgers can in the top of the cupboard. And to top it off what the fuck kind of Corky Thatcher pose is that with Sara Jean? Miltons should have a “pimp my head” contest, just ruining that nice suit with your turkey head sticking out of the top of it.
I guarantee she doesn’t sell out every club appearance she does anyways. She’s not all that big of a name, so I wouldn’t worry to much Pres. Keep on keepin on dude.
When you compare the Bruins to the Red Sox (storied history, long time underdog, recently breaking through), the Celtics (won the most titles of any sports team ever) and the Patriots (best football team of the last century) it’s not hard to see that the Bruins are 4th. But why does that mean no one gives a fuck about them, you haven’t explained that yet? Why can’t I give a fuck about 4 teams?
^^^^^ Marty funkhouser
I don’t have to explain it, it’s a fact they aren’t cared about in Boston nearly as much as any other team. Why does no one? I don’t have to explain why I wasn’t theorizing the hypothesis it just is. If you want one, it traces down to hockey just not being that popular cuz it’s not an accessible sport for everyone, and at least locally, Bruins have let down people for 40 years. I’m not gonna deny if they won the cup then people would act like they cared the whole time and pull out their pink hats.
achart says: the Celtics (won the most titles of any sports team ever)
Yeah, you might want to recant this statement. I think the Yankees and Montreal Canadians fans have a case against this statement.
Chris Slade your an idiot
If no one cares I’m surprised that we average over 17,500 people in attendance per game. That’s 99.7% capacity. Must be the same 17,500 people at each game…
The Celtics average about 1000 more, and of course there are more seats available with all the floor seats they add.
^^ good stat…
Also was a Thursday night…
gymnasium my bad, I was thinking of most by a player. Still most in basketball.
Where were all the good looking people? Decided not to take a picture of them?
Bruins fans are the most loyal, they filled the Garden even when the team sucked ass. Gotta give em credit there.
what is the event exactly? a party at a bar?
So if the Bruins do win the cup this year you can expect to see us 17,500 in the street. Everyone but Chris Slade is invited.
I’m from Philly and would still rather watch a Bruins playoff game than hang out in some shitty bar with an F-list internet celeb doing a gimmick event.
But no one cares about the Bruins, Slade’s right.
Chris Slade says:
April 16, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Here’s what you do. Grab a clipboard, and walk around Boston for the day. Ask everyone you see to name 1 player each on the celts, pats, sox, bruins.
Tom Brady Wes Welker
Paul Pierce Kevin Garnett
David Ortiz Josh Beckett
Uhhhhh…Bobby Orr?
Nice way to spin it. This poll changes with the times, if you asked this question in the 70′s, 80′s and early 90′s the first answers would have been Phil Esposito, Bobby Orr, Ray Bourque, and Cam Neely and the big 3 of the Celts. Of couse over the last 10 years you have the Sox, Pats, & C’s as the it teams because they won titles.
^^mis-read the question, i see where you were going. But sport athletes poularity changes during winning years.
Chris Slade said he invited Jenna…..thats all you need to know about this asshole. Who gives a shit he doesn’t like the Bruins. Hockey is awesome and he is missing out, his loss.
And baseball is fuckin terrible worst sport ever I’d rather watch amputee soccer (actually that’d be sick, but I digress). The only thing worse than watching baseball on tv is going to the game. Most exciting part of baseball is the offseason signings then it’s 162 games of singles bunts hamstring pulls and dead arms. Cut the schedule in half. Or for sox this year just cuncel da saeson.
Beckett looking sharp right now let’s keep it goin!
Bruins were on NESN the other night and Red Sox were on NESN Plus. That’s all you need to know about what is more popular right now.
Yeah I’m done arguing with someone who’s best argument is “I can’t name a single player and doubt anyone else could either but am too lazy to find out”.
I gave hockey a chance, went a few weeks ago. I was more interested by the poor design of the chicken finger bucket than the game. How are you supposed to eat out of it?!
prez, brilliant idea wrong market. you do that in nyc and you have a home run.
Good point mdz. Prez, throw a PBR party in Brooklyn and youll be able to retire early.
who was the chick on the couch with you? hottest chick there
chris slade, do us all a favor and kill yourself . fucking loser.
Pretty “interesting” looking crowd
Who’s the blonde smoke in the gold dress, second last pic
Faaaaaack
Hey at least he has her hand on her ass this time. He’s got the 3 inch gap between their bodies.
She sounds like a bitch tho.
Im on chris slade’s side on this one, when do you ever hear about the B’s in boston other than playoff time? Sure rear admiral plugs them on the stool every now and then but the fact that people on here are comparing playoff hockey viewership to that of APRIL red sox ratings is ludicrous. The playoffs are the only time that hockey matters in this state and to pretend otherwise is ridiculous. I 100% agree that the B’s following is probably more dedicated, loyal and knowledgeable than your average red sox fan, but its such and incredible minority that it hardly matters. The B’s are 4th in this town, and by a wide margin. Im sorry but its true.
Maybe the approach is wrong, Prez. Seems to me that the area is starting to all wear out on the parties because they are usually sausage fests. I know every time I throw out a Stool event to my buddies the reaction is always “No, it will be a sausage fest”
The approach needs to be to get easy sluts en masse to turn out. Hiring smoke to host an event isn’t gonna bring out chicks.
I propose:
Hire a good DJ and someone / thing that will bring girls out. Then charge a cover just for dudes and let chicks in free. Or, charge guys cover and give girls free drinks with the cover revenue.
Hire some dumb ass personality that will bring dumb girls in. Pauly D is probably priced out of your range at this point but what about the other idiots? What’s Clinton Sparks getting to DJ these days? Call Lucic’s people. I see that dude out on the regular and he’s always trolling. He’s gotta be able to be had for an appearance some $ and the prospect of 100′s of pigs throwing themselves at him.
I respect your hustle and thinking outside the box but the approach but there is little incentive for girls to come out. Guy will come no matter what and PAY no matter what if there is the prospect of girls being there.
Chris slade you really are dumb. I do not claim to be any boston fan, I moved here from elsewhere and will remain loyal. That being said I love watching all 4 of the major sports, going out, hearing boston fans talk shit and being able to watch good sports. Without question Bruins fans are the most legit. Any fan that says they like the bruins fuckin loves the bruins. It’s unreal, and also there are a ridiculous amount of Bs fans.. There are hardcore Cs, sox and pats fans in this city for sure, but they are watered down by the ridiculous amount of fair weather fans out there (celtics less so). Ah fuck it, it doesn’t matter. You’re an idiot.
Yo Prez, you think you could have stuffed another thing in your suit pants pockets? Not a good look, bro.
1. I think Jenna has a better stomach/body than SJU; shouldn’t have fired her, Pres. 2. She’s gone downhill since 2005 or 2007 or whenever she peaked. 3. You’re an embarrassment to Milton’s the way you dress.
That said, Pres has to regret getting hitched now that he’s blowing up, getting tweeted at by celebrities, etc. And if I ran a business where I could just deduct flying out SJU as an “ordinary and necessary,” I would be flying different chicks out every weekend for some bar promo that would just wind up being me and her going out to dinner.
Prez – the neck is looking better. Keep at it – these things take time.
anyone that can’t name one Bs player off the top of their head is a fucking fruit.
I would agree that hockey is the fourth sport in the polls in any city except Detroit. You could ask people on the streets to name people from the four major sports in town and the first 5 people they give you will be Red Wings. Not sure anyone in the city even knows who is on the Lion’s roster, but this city is the exception not the rule.
Guarantee if the Bruins won the cup there would be 300,000 people lining the parade route from Boylston St to City Hall. From the end of the Larry Bird era till KG arrived nobody gave two shits about the Celtics. One title and all of Boston will jump on the B’s bandwagon, fact.
Pres, I have only been to one of your events and it was last years Golf event at Pembroke. Shit was awesome.
Reason 1: We all had something to do…even if most of the guys sucked (you included, I saw you hit a shot off 9 tee.)
Reason 2: There was a capacity to sell out and it did.
Reason 3: You hired about 20 smokes to hang with the players (2 per tee) about every other tee. You had them compete for a prize without even playing golf. The competition was to have all the guys vote for them based on looks personality, how aughty they might get. They were into it and so was every player.
Bring in hired smokes that are approachable and attainable for some of us. Put them at different stations in a bar and give em something to do. Make a contest of it while socializing with the smokes. Activities will be your challenge, but maybe small hoops shooting machine, hand job booth, Dance contest game. etc. prizes for all winners, prizes for favorite smokes as voted by attendees.
BOOM! Successful winning recipe for you and happy stoolies who will attend this shit.
Your welcome.
you are so incredibly ugly
prez,
you look like shit. Milton’s called they want their suit back, your bringing them down!
Hey Chris Slade,
Bruins- Chara, Bergeron, Lucic, Thornton, Seguin, Thomas, Rask, McQuaid, Recchi
I just named 9 Bruins players off the top of my head & I’m not even a hockey fan
P.S. FUCK YOU AND GET A LIFE! you seriously came back to check this comment section like 5 times in order to respond to almost every comment that was made towards you… go out and make some friends you loser
NO ONE KNOWS WHO THE FUCK SHE IS!!!!!!!!
Bruins fans are over the top know it all douchebags. Most of them are degenerates/nerds/just plain losers who when they throw on their B’s sweater they feel like superheroes. They might as well get IM A BRUINS FAN!!!! tattooed on their head.
Chris Slade may be going overboard with saying NOBODY cares about the Bruins, but If you people really think that the Bruins aren’t 4th on the depth chart of major sports in Boston you are delusional.
I also don’t buy for a second that the Bruins were the major reason for the low attendance at this event.
Another weak GTA effort…
forum_4um says:
April 16, 2011 at 1:51 pm
A wise man man once said stop fucking hiring sluts and whores for stupid events and start with hiring dj’s for actual partys. No one cares about a hot hostess that they can’t hook up with. Bring the regular sluts and hire a good dj and let the mafgic happen.
I didn’t say that! Sara Jean tho either way…YUM!
“Eyes like rubys”
That’s pretty scary. Pink eye?