And the answer is the dancing destroyer, the king of sting, the Count of Monte Cristo, the master of disaster…..Candice Swanepoel. Real talk for a minute. If you told me I could fuck Candice Swanepoel but I’d automatically get Aids I wouldn’t even hesitate. Biggest no brainer in the history of earth. I wouldn’t care what happened to me the rest of my life. I could die a happy, fulfilled man.
PS – I’m totally going to tweet at Candice that I love that little dent she has on her ass. I’m like 9,000% sure she’ll reply to that and we’ll twitter fuck again.