Daily Mail – A bridegroom who sexually assaulted a stranger on his stag night because he wanted one final fling has been jailed for seven years. Louis Palmer, 33, stalked his 30-year-old victim at the end of a drunken night out to celebrate his impending wedding. He pushed the woman against a wall and indecently assaulted her. When she tried to fight him off, he punched her in the face. Despite his being arrested and charged with the attack, Palmer’s fiancee Amanda Conway went ahead with the wedding and married him three weeks later … The victim, who cannot be identified, told the court: ‘I remember crossing the road, then just out of nowhere someone grabbed hold of me and threw me against a wall.  ‘I was telling him “please stop”, then he punched me in the face.’… He claimed the woman had offered him ‘one last fling’ after he stopped and asked her for directions. He told police he had agreed to what he thought would be a ‘five-second fumble’. Palmer said: ‘I thought it was going to be like a five-second fumble and whatever, and I would go off into the night. She wasn’t saying anything until she went berserk. ‘When women become hysterical, it is necessary sometimes to slap them to bring them round.’

Ordinarily I don’t condone violence against women in any form.  But who am I to judge Louis Palmer?  Any guy who can reel in a record catch like Amanda Conway obviously knows a lot more about getting with the ladies than I ever could.  And you can see his point.  He randomly goes up to a strange girl because he needs to ask for directions, she offers him five seconds of heaven then gets all hysterical two seconds into it, I suppose he’s got to give her the oops upside the head, for her own good.  Louie understands women in ways I don’t.  He’s like Mel Gibson in “What Women Want.”  They want to be groped and slapped by drunken bridegrooms.  Obviously because why else would a chick like Amanda, who can have any guy she wants, go through with the wedding and stick it out for seven years?  Those are going to be some world class conjugal visits, I’ll tell you that.