I blogged about this last year and I can’t believe I almost forgot about it this year. The motherfucking Festival of Flaggellation! Pretty much my favorite holiday of the calendar year. Middle East doing it big right after Black Friday weekend. Reminding you that no matter how disgusting and barbaric you found the riots at a Walmart, they’ll trump the shit out of it.

It’s kind of how you always think you’re an out of control partier until you actually meet one. Like I have a Bud Light or two too many and I’m like whoa I gotta get my shit together. But talk to a guy who was doing intravenous drugs in a den on Saturday and woke up behind a dumpster on Wednesday and you realize you’re just fine. All about moderation. I’ll allow¬† “wrestling for iPhones” but stop just short of the “tying machetes to chains and beating the shit out of myself” on the crazy scale.

Thanks, Middle East. Always nice to have that little reminder that we’re doing just fine.