MLive – Earlie Johnson had a bad day Tuesday when he came home from work to find his considerable porn collection and three televisions had been stolen.Earlie Johnson, the owner of the stolen vintage porn collection, relaxes at his home in Muskegon. According to Johnson, he and his fiancée arrived home from work around 4 p.m. on Tuesday, Feb. 19, and discovered the back door of their house in the 1700 block of McIlwraith Street had been kicked in. After making a sweep of the house, the couple discovered that three flat screen television sets and Johnson’s valuable vintage pornography collection had been stolen. “Basically, I had a porn collection that was priceless,” Johnson said. “It was worth — to be straight up — $7,500 dollars.” Johnson was confident of the monetary value of his stash of pornographic movies, which includes 1970s classics to more current titles starring some of the biggest names in adult movies, because he had the collection appraised by the CD Exchange in Holland. “They buy your CDs and they also appraise what you got,” he explained. “They appraised my collection. It was done a couple years ago so they may not remember.” Johnson told Muskegon police officers investigating the burglary that his trove was “one of the largest porn collections” in Michigan. “I’m the Hugh Hefner of Muskegon,” Johnson said proudly. “I appreciate all beautiful women. Ain’t no doubt.”

 

The term “crime of the century” shouldn’t be used lightly, but it’s safe to say that this is the crime of the century. All the African American Porn from the 70′s until now!? $7,500 worth of black porn!? Goddamn right he’s the Hugh Hefner of Muskegon. That’s the type of erotica that only moguls posses. Big time shit. A whole drawer full!

I have some advice for these thieves. Run and hide. You hear me? Run. And. Hide. That is all I ask. Because when Earlie Johnson gets his hands on you, well lets just say that for once it won’t be his dick who’s getting beaten to a pulp.