A ONE-WOMAN mission to prove breasts don’t cause earthquakes has swollen into a shirt-straining global movement preparing for the inaugural “Boobquake”. Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi angered womens’ groups around the world on Monday when he claimed that promiscuous women were responsible for literally making the earth move. “Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Sedighi said…
Jennifer McCreight is determined to prove him wrong. Since launching the “Boobquake” Facebook page two days ago, she has enlisted more than 20,000 women promising to show as much cleavage as possible on Monday, April 26. If the world doesn’t then disappear into an apocalyptic fiery chasm, then Sedighi will have no option but to admit he was wrong. “On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own,” Ms McCreight wrote. “Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake.
You know, I usually steer clear of these social cause-type of events. They’re usually a lot more about making the people running things look good than affecting any actual change. I’ve seen too many celebrity Earth Day Committee chairmen who fly private jets for a hobby or drive race cars for fun but who aren’t shy about preaching to the rest of us that we need to drive Priuses and carpool to work to buy into any trendy movement.
But this one? This is different. This is about women standing up for what’s right. It’s about empowerment. It’s about justice. For too long now people have blamed women’s breasts for the seismic problems in the world and the only rational way to answer back is by showing them off. Release the twins, ladies. In fact, why wait until Monday? You owe it to your sisters in living bondage and oppression all over the world to put on your night on the town shirts and flash some bewbage today, tomorrow and every day. Prove to the haters and misogynists that your racks aren’t causing quakes or Global Warming or volcanoes in Iceland. Because even if the worst does happen and you cause worldwide environmental catastrophe, it will still have been worth it. Godspeed, Jennifer McCreight.