Hey Big Cat….Yoked Enough For You?”

“Hey Big Cat…Hot enough for you?”

“Hey Big Cat… Too Futuristic For You?”

So Big Cat absolutely obliterated the Biebs today. Just tore him a new asshole.  In fact he was so convincing and so elegant that he almost had me doubting myself.  He almost got me to change my mind and jump ship on The Biebs.  And then I remembered something.  Everything he said  was a lie.  Listen if somebody disagrees with me I’m fine with it, but you can’t just make shit up. I mean his whole shtick boiled down to 3 things. #1 Bieber needs to hit the gym. #2 He’s a pussy because he didn’t fuck anybody at the VS fashion show.  #3 His clothing is too futuristic.

First of all Big Cat Biebs is jacked.   Get a clue and start following his twitter page.  He only uploads twit picks of himself pumping iron every two seconds.  Bro practically lives in the gym.  Second of all it’s a known fact that he fucked Barbara Palvin after the Victoria Secret fashion show.   So I’m not sure how that qualifies as him doing nothing about every chick sweating him. Oh and that part  about how he looks like a gay super villain from 2095?  Umm yeah he does.   That’s the best thing you can say about a performer.   (Reference MC Hammer) He looks like he’s from the future.   For all we know he is from the future.  That’s how ahead of his time he is.  Seriously I don’t even know what we’re talking about here?  Lies on top of lies on top of lies.   So do me a favor Big Cat and stick to finding out how tall people are and leave the real journalism to the pros.