So last night in the green room in Trenton I brought up the fact that I hate kissing and want to marry a hooker because she knows it’s off limits too. Everybody looked at me like I had 3 heads. 10 guys all telling me how kissing is so awesome and beautiful and shit. Saying if I don’t like kissing then I must me doing it wrong. Gayest thing I’ve ever been a part of. Listen, kissing is absolutely disgusting. It’s pointless. Doesn’t matter how you’re doing it, it’s never going to be pleasurable. You can’t get off from kissing. It’s a prerequisite to fucking and nothing else. For some reason you have to do it even if you know what comes next. It’s like taking intro to chem when you’ve already tested out to advanced shit: a waste of time. I mean no one goes out thinking that they can’t wait to grab a girl and make out. If kissing was absolutely optional and you say you’d chose to do it then you’re a moron. Sure 7 minutes in heaven was fun until you got your first blowjob but after that it was just a chore. It’s flat out boring. You talk to girls to have sex, not to sit in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g all night. It’s kind of like eating dinner when you go out. All you really want is the dessert but you actually eat food because that’s what society demands. If it was up to you you’d totally forsake that and just get shitfaced and eat cake.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a trillion times: when I’m kissing a girl I’ll hang around and partake for 5 minutes. If clothes don’t start flying off after that then stop spitting in my mouth and get out. You’re disgusting.

Vote 1 for you love to pucker up, 10 for “Feits, you’re always so right”

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