Hillbilly Flees Nude on a Bike When He’s Caught By 14 Year Old Girlfriend’s Father
(This is a real photo of the incident)
TSG - Meet Jose Antonio Torres. The Florida man, 23, was allegedly having sex Tuesday morning with his
14-year-old girlfriend when the teen’s father discovered the pair in bed. After being punched several timesby the father, a bleeding and naked Torres fled the girl’s home on a red bicycle. He was soon nabbed by Altamonte Springs cops, who spotted Torres “traveling from behind a closed business on a bicycle…the male suspect appeared to be nude,” according to a police report. As seen in the [above] evidence photo, Torres and his getaway vehicle were corralled on someone’s front lawn. Torres, pictured in the above mug shot, was charged with felony sexual battery charge and booked into the Seminole County jail, where he is being held in lieu of $25,000 bond.
I don’t care who you are. You could be a general or the President of the United States, it makes no difference. If history has taught us anything it’s that you don’t go into an engagement without an exit strategy. Riding to your 14 year old girlfriend’s place for a little statutory lovin’ on a bike might seem like exercise and a way to reduce your carbon footprint that’s not only good for you and the environment but good fun too. But all that good intention goes out the window when her dad comes home and finds you raping his White Trash daughter. Along with what’s left of your balls I’m sure. Next time, make sure you’ve got a car, or even a skateboard or a Razor scooter as a getaway vehicle. Anything that can get you to safety without permanent lasting damage. Remember, that erection will go away in seconds, but bruised testes could last you a lifetime. Lesson learned.
Editors Note: Is that mud on his face or a tattoo? Jerry thinks it’s a tattoo. I think it’s mud. Obviously that begs the question of why wouldn’t he clean his face? I’m thinking maybe he just so pissed that he wanted to leave it there for effect? Like when guys sit in the dugout for 20 minutes after they lose a tough game. I’m curious what the Stoolies think.
Vote 1 for mud and 10 for tattoo
(951 votes, average: 2.00 out of 10)
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I think it’s a birthmark.. and I find the word “hillbilly” very offensive.
It’s gotta be a birthmark or a burn
did i miss the post or did Pres or more likely JT not weigh in on the Crowley and Gates story. i’m actually interested to hear what stoolies thought. i must have missed it the few days i wasn’t around this week.
That is dried blood, check out the pic of him laying face down and his inner arm is all smeared with blood. Looks like Pa got a few good licks in.
Blood (dad whipping his ass) + Dirt (laying on face on ground) = all that shit on his face.
weird though…didn’t clean his face, but he has a shirt on in the pic though he was naked when arrested?
Looks like the little 14 year old lolita did a number on his neck too.
yo thats no tattoo, thats just the phantom of the opera
When a cop asks you for ID, shut your piehole and give it to him.
We’ve been through this a hundred times
Was there a seat on the bike? Or was he riding pole? I vote pole. What a tool. Everyone knows you take your skateboard to bang a 14 year old, not a bike.
Editors Note: Is that mud on his face or a tattoo? Jerry thinks it’s a tattoo. I think it’s mud.
The article says it’s by Jerry Thornton…hmmmm…2 Jerry Thornton’s working there now? Is this like seeing 2 Kelly Hildenadfkasdfkasd’s gettin married
No pictures of the girl?
The Smoking Gun’s police repot says it’s a birthmark.
Didn’t the report say he got punched in the face several times? therefore, i think it is a bruise that makes him look like a pussy…
then again it may be a birthmark, that would explain why he cant get anything better than a 14 year old…
either that or she shat on his face during their encounter…
what the story didnt say is that the day walked in while the girl was taking a diarreah shit on his face.
Cops will let you put your clothes on if they arrest you naked they will NOT let you “clean up”, hence, mud.
sorry rod didnt see that youre a sick fuck and thought the same thing….
yea gotta agree with rod beck and earlier posts–think its a birthmark–this disgusting deformity may just save his rectum in prison tho as even the sisters wouldn’t rape his hillbilly ass
Good detective work Captain.
Looks like Jason Kidd.
Editors Note: what the fuck is an Editor
After further review… I’m going to go with EP and say it’s mud. One thing we can all agree on, is this is not a guy you want to see penetrating your 14 year old. Even Sgt. Crowley and Prof. Gate would agree on that.
its def a birthmark… that sucks
We need a new American flag, one with 46 stars plus four pictures of clowns that represent the other four states that we all laugh at: Michigan, Florida, Massachusetts, and California.
The father walked in on them while she was giving him a Pearl Harbor and that’s how he got the shit on his face.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pearl+harbor
Pearl Harbor definition # 3 on that list.
CptKballs is correct here’s the url to the arrest report on The Smoking Gun:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0723091naked2.html
Shit stain.
BTW you say he’s a “Hillbilly?” I didn’t know an illegal alien from Mexico could be a hillbilly. Learn something new everyday.
No hills in Florida = no hillbillies. redneck wetbacks however are indigineous to Seminole County.
The police report (posted above by PatsFan) says the perp’s distinguishing feature is “Discolor Disc Face Birthmark Right Side of Face.”
Must be why Jose Antonio Torres (the perp) can’t get any his own age. Bet he’ll get all the action he can handle in the pokey, though.