SBNATION - There were also rumors of poor conditioning. One anonymous source said that Bobby Jenkswould often snort a whole fried chicken — not even bothering with the typical mastication and swallowing method that most humans use. The source said Jenks has been doing this for years — he’d just snort the whole thing up and make horrible, guttural groaning sounds for a few minutes while the chicken worked itself through. He was supposed to bolster the Boston bullpen, but instead he pitched all bad and stuff before he was all hurt and stuff.
Lost in all this Red Sox mud slinging the past 48 hours is the report that Bobby Jenks was snorting whole fried chickens in the locker room. How is this not front page news? Like of everything that has been said so far this is the best. I mean is this even possible? Sure I guess if anybody could do it, it would be Jenks, but what about the bones and shit? Either way it’s fucking hilarious. I mean you know shit has officially hit the fan when there are rumors of your players snorting whole fried chicken in the locker room.
PS – Who do you think leaked that one? My guess is that Lucchino was probably trashing Jenks saying he was fat and out of shape and Werner wanted to impress Lucchino and show him that he knew how to trash people too so he just blurted out that Jenks snorted whole fried chickens on the regular. One Eyed Bandit probably just shook his head and walked out. Fucking smear campaign amateur hour.