How Stupid Is This Maine Pizza Delivery Guy For Not Banging The Zumba Slut When He Had The Chance?
NYDailyNews – A Maine pizza delivery guy said alleged “Zumba madam” Alexis Wright once tried to seduce him by shedding her bath towel in front of him and then giving him a 400% tip, according to court testimony. Dan Racaniello, the manager of Topping Pizza in Kennebunk, testified in court Thursday that the accused madam – whose dance studio was next to his parlor — once met him at the door of her apartment wearing only a towel after he arrived to deliver an order of spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread. Wright, still wet from a shower, invited him inside and then dropped her towel while fishing through her purse, Racaniello recounted. “She was standing there in front of me naked,” Racaniello testified, according to the Bangor Daily News. “I looked away, and when I looked back, she was still standing there naked. It was awkward.” Racaniello said he didn’t take the bait, but before he left, Wright gave him $40 for the $8 order and told him to keep the change.
This story kills me. Dude, ARE YOU SERIOUS!? The pizza delivery boy/hot naked slut scenario is the fucking apotheosis of porn scenarios. Every guy on earth wants something like this to happen to them. Ring the bell and who should answer? Oh it’s just a dripping wet bitch wearing nothing but a towel who invites you in. And then whoops, look at that, her towel fell off. How clumsy! Now you have a naked woman in front of you, begging for cock, and what do you do? You leave!??? Oh my god bro I hate you. I hate you so much. From here on out in your life, you won’t be able to fuck up bigger than you did that night. It’s impossible. You could be drunk driving around and mow down a kindergarten class crossing the street and the cop will be like, “Well at least it’s not as bad as that time you were delivering spaghetti and passed up sex with the Zumba chick.” Biggest whore in town literally puts her pussy in your hand and you walk away. Unbelievable.
Honest to god, in all my years on this earth I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone be so ungrateful for something. Basically just spitting in god’s eyeball.
Not with that Pizza Face.
fucking H O M O !
My dick would have been out of my pants before I rang the doorbell.
It was probably Big Cat. He’s saving himself for his fake girlfriend.
anybody got the link to her porno?
had to look up apotheosis…
also, he probably “passed” on every STD known to man…
Neil use to work at Topping Pizza as a delivery boy?
alexis wright is disgusting…untouchable.
This guy must be a Gay.
she slept with every old man in kbunk..no thanks
This is Maine. It wasn’t seeing her trim, wet, glistening, naked body that freaked him out – it was the shock of seeing a woman with all her teeth……
Dope – going out on a limb and assuming that would have been the best looking woman a Maine Pizza guy would ever nail. Now he can look forward to the Maine gal he will end up with – a non-Gronk move
I’d hate to be his friend. If you’re not going to fuck her at least take an Instagram shot to show your friends.
Spot on blog… literally one of my biggest fantasies and this fag passed it up.
apotheosis? do you think youre better than us or something?
why is this idiot testifying about this? and why isnt he pleading the 5th so nobody knows what an asshole he is for turning her down?
so gaystoolie lives in maine huh. No surprise there.
This is the same kid that:
- struck out looking for the final out in the little league championship with winning runs on base.
- lost his only fight to a girl
- ripped his rubber the the 1st time he was gonna get laid.
- got a super wedgie that sent him to the hospital.
- fingered the fattest girl in school who then told everyone.
This was his moment where he could have turned everything around and he bleeewwww it!!
I’m gonna be pulling for this guy.
Nailed it. What a fucking dope.
To pass that scenario up, that pizza delivery dude is 1000% gay.
She might be an STD factory, but i still hate this guy for passing her up,. I wouldn’t ride bareback, but she is still a solid 7, and that sounds like a perfect fantasy/porno “plot”.
A . You do not tell your closest friend about that let alone fucking testify. Just angry masturbate it away every once and again.
that picture is an opening scene from “big sausage pizza” I’m always hungry after i shoot my load
Summers while I was in college I used to landscape. I would dream of a day when a hot client would invite me in for a cold drink and some afternoon delight. Alas, I was never so lucky.
Wait am I reading this right? 8 bucks for spaghetti meatballs and garlic bread?? What a deal!
wow…that is just the most depressing thing ive ever heard…how do you not take that opportunity? he has to be either the most clueless person on earth, or he is gay…
1000% chance she had a hidden camera, hoping to star in her own porno. Pretty sure she recorded a lot of her “encounters”.
“You can imagine where it goes from here….”
“He fixes the cable?”
Well, Senor Pizza said she didn’t order it with anchovies…
“Let me tell you something kid; Everybody gets one chance to do something great. Most people never take the chance, either because they’re too scared, or they don’t recognize it when it spits on their shoes.” – Babe Ruth — The Sandlot
I only bang chicks hotter than my wife
so this is why you picked pizza over burritos
The only way you don’t hit this particular skank, is if there’s no scumbag around. But that’s not what happened here. This guy’s a fruit. And too dumb to keep is mouth shut about it.
I’d let her eat my spaghetti and meatballs.
The craziest part of this story is that dinner in Maine costs $8.00.
UNBELIEVABLE!! $8 plate of spaghetti, meatballs, AND garlic bread now that is a fucking deal
fuckin strasser, what a retard
this is troubling
As if the awesome sex wouldn’t have been enough, there was even a 400% tip. That would have been the frosting on the cake. Literally.
I would have double-stuffed her butthole and then threw $20 back to her for being such a whore.
First ever post with not one insult. Good work jew
I used to work roomservice at a nice hotel, banged a chick one time and i got crabs. no lie