I won’t put too fine a point on it and say it was one of the greatest days in Boston sports history, but it makes the short list of best days in recent memory without breaking a sweat.  The only thing that could’ve made it better is if by some miracle one of the playoff games had been scheduled at 4 o’clock so you wouldn’t have had to miss a play.  As it is, every guy in New England should be putting in workman’s comp claims for Carpal Tunnel from wearing out their thumbs hitting the “Last” button on the remote.  If you weren’t flipping back and forth, stop calling yourself a Boston sports fan right now and just admit to yourself you’d rather spend your nights going to poetry slams or hosting Pampered Chef parties.

It was impossible to catch everything short of DVRing one or the other, but what would’ve been the point?  Maybe Bill Simmons will do a 10,000 game diary about how he caught both games while on the phone with his dad, playing with his baby and giving cool nicknames to his awesome friends.  But the rest of had to decide which game was your “Primary” and which was your “Flip to” then catch what you could catch.  It was like having one of your kids playing lacrosse and the other playing baseball at the same time and you had to pick which game to go to.  And in my case, I went with the kid who was playing on the road against his blood rivals in an arena full of oily, broken-French-speaking puck monkeys who boo the American National Anthem.  It’s mostly a blur, but here’s what I caught:

An amped-up Canadiens team playing the first three minutes as if the ice was tilted toward the Bruins goal like a pinball machine.

The Bruins fans in the Bell Center with the Cam Neely and Joe Thornton jerseys on, because it’s either 1990 or 2004 in Canada.

Rajon Rondo getting every Bull in foul trouble in the first 5 minutes of the 1st quarter.

Kathryn Tappen wearing one of her sneaky hot “They’re real and they’re spectacular” blouses.

TBS adding a 10th sitcom with Tyler Perry’s name in the title and I still have no idea who he or she is.

The Viagara ad that was behind the goal in the 1st period disappearing faster than an erection.

Joakim Noah slipping on the wrestling heel hat and seeming comfortable in the role.

The Bruins taking the crowd out of the game with one goal, the kind of thing that only happens with fans who think they’re owed championships.

The Garden crowed chanting “Noah sucks!” Which, added to Larry Bird’s “Moses does eat shit” finally completed the Celtics Old Testament Disrespect Quinella.

The Bulls blocking a shot every two minutes, including one where either Tyrus Thomas made one on Phil Kessel or I was flipping too fast.

Montreal fans starting the booing down a goal with 6:00 to go, where Celtics fans never let up, even down 5 with under 2:00.

Bob Gainey behind the bench with that look on his face like the captain that Darth Vader promotes right after he strangles the admiral to death.

Big Baby killing Chicago with 15 foot jumpers until he scored on a put back surrounded by four Bulls.

Michael Ryder catching Montreal asleep right after a shift change and scoring the game winner, which should be causing murder-suicide pacts (made in broken French) to be carried out all over Quebec.

Ray Allen doing what a great shooter should do after going 1-for-12 in Game 1: He kept on shooting.

Chuck Kobasew outdesiring (a word I invented this minute) everyone for the empty netter.

There are a thousand others I’m too drunk to remember.  Oh, yeah… and a thousand more about the Red Sox winning their 5th straight.  The Sox win.  The Bruins win.  The Celts win.  I believe some Kenyans won something too.  And it all happens on Patriots Day.  One of those days when you’re glad you’re not living in Kansas City or Minnesota or New York or some other jerkwater sports town where this stuff never happens.