I Need To Chime In On This If You Were Stuck 10 Years In A Basement For 10 Million Dollars What Would You Take With You Scenario
So KFC and Mo blogged this hypothetical scenario earlier…
You are being forced to spend the next 10 years of your life in a basement. After those 10 years, you will receive $10 mil. Your basement comes fully furnished with a good bed, sink, a toilet, a shower and a trash chute. You are also being given a bonus 30 points to spend on items/amenities that you can take with you to your basement. BONUS BONUS: If you half your $10 mil payout to $5 mil, you will receive 35 points to spend. If you reduce your payout to zero, you receive 40 points.
Editors Note: Feitleberg wrote this blog. I haven’t seen what the other bloggers did, but Feitleberg is an idiot. I refuse to let his dumb ass answers be confused for mine. This is how you do it. No debate. This is it. You take 35 points and collect 5 million instead of 10.
Hot chick to fuck - 18 points
TV – 7 pts
Gourmet Chef 9 points
Total 34 points spent. Duh. Done. Perfect score. I guess I’ll take the pool table to so I can bend over the hot chick and fuck her on it too. Mogul style. If you want to stop reading feel free, because the rest is idiotic.
Feits CHOICES
Both KFC and Mo are willing to sacrifice half of their winnings because they want some totally pointless shit. Mo wants to go over the allotted 30 points because he wants a library. Who are you trying to impress dude? There is literally no one else down there. No one to try and sound all intellectual in front of talking about your fucking books. KFC is going over just so he can spend 7 points on Barry Bonds. Dude is willing to pay $500,000 a year just to be in the same room as Barry Bonds. Absolutely crazy.
What you need is this:
Full Kitchen (6 points): I love good food. But I never cook it because I never have the time or the energy. Lock me up in a basement for 10 years with a bunch of Cuisinarts and a stocked pantry and I’ll be whipping up dishes that make Emeril’s food taste as bland as Natalie Portman’s pussy (I bet Natalie Portman has a wicked boring pussy. I’d kill my mom to hook up with Portman but I still jut get the feeling it’s very nondescript.)
Weight Room (5 points): Full kitchen with all kinds of healthy shit and a bunch of weights? I’ll come out of this hole looking like a fucking Adonis. Then I’ll bang all the 18 year old smokes I want because I’ll be a ripped millionaire who didn’t have to go crazy living with an 18 year old chick for 10 years. You know how you’re always like “oh if I went to prison I’d just get ripped”? Well this is the same thing but with less broomsticks shoved up your ass.
Skylight (2 points): Need my Vitamin D son. Don’t want to come out of my hole all pale and pasty. Seen Homeland? Brody was U-G-L-Y.
TV (7 points): All the cable channels and all the premium packages. It’s perfect. Don’t need any movies or books or anything. Got everything I need with premium cable. I’ll just wait the extra few years when a good book comes out. Wait for them to make a movie then wait for the movie to come on video then wait for HBO. All in all it will be about 3 or 4 years of waiting but I never have to worry about spoilers because I LIVE IN A FUCKING HOLE.
Tobacco (4 points): this one was hard because it was between drugs booze and dip. Dip wins in the end because if I’m bored all I do is dip and I have a feeling I’d be bored a lot over that decade. Plus I’m not a hardcore alcoholic. Drinking by myself isn’t fun. I’m a social drinker who’s very social. I got not need to be swilling whiskey by myself in a dark room. And drugs? I guess pills would be fun and I could just Rip van Winkle my 10 year bid but that would get in the way of my intense training program I’d be doing there. Tins it is.
Hygiene (3 points): I like my own crotch rot as much as the next guy but you can only put up with it for so long before infections and general uncomfortableness become an issue.
And that’s it. 27 points. Yeah I’m leaving 3 points on the table. Know why? Because fuck him, that’s why.
I could have taken a cellphone but I don’t like talking to people so I really don’t see the need for it. I go months without talking to my friends all the time. What’s a decade? Half probably wouldn’t even notice I was gone. I could have a doctor but I already mentioned that I’ll be getting shredded so what do I need him for? To tell me what great shape I’m in? No thanks, got a mirror for that. A garden with a greenhouse? Listen just because I said living with an 18 year old girl would drive me insane doesn’t mean I’m going to be all gay and gardening and shit. I don’t want any of that. Just give me what I asked for and take your three extra points and shove them up your ass.
And have my 10 million waiting when I get out. Big check. Gilmore style. Or else I’ll have to flex on you.
Can Barry Bonds have sex with Feitelberg?
You do not need to “chime in” on that. Nobody gives a fuck about your opinion
This site goes down more than pageviews on bieber
Leave it to Prez to talk some common sense. I didn’t realize all the bloggers here were total gayballs.
why waste the 3 points? get a pool table so you can come out of the hole a fucking shark and do all types of sick trick shots. you could definitely get in the black widow’s pants then and that would satisfy you desire for banging an asian smoke. i mean there’s only so much skinimax a guy can beat it to
Workout Room – 5 Pts
TV w/ Cable – 7 pts
Phone – 3 pts
Hygene – 3 pts
Video Games – 4 pts (because TV will get boring eventually)
Skylight – 2 pts
Full Kitchen – 6 pts
Done.
$10M real dollars or internet dollars?
Take 35 points and $5 Million
Hot chick to fuck – 18 points
TV – 7 pts
stocked Kitchen – 6 points
Hygeine Products – 3 points…
Leaves me with 1 point, so fuck it, get a pool table.
We need birth control, last we need to ruin this is kids running around.
KFC, mo and feits are gay. You take the chick 100% of the time. and since she’s worth 18 points I’m assuming she’s a porn star level freak and not some dead fish pussy. also she doesn’t bother you with chick bullshit.
Chick (18)
TV (7)
Drugs (5)
Video Games (4)
Pool table (1)
How does anyone not include the 18 year old hottie? 10 years of pussy slamming = don’t need much else.
The Barry Bonds pic killed me. I’m not sure why it slayed me so much but it did. bravo.
can you sell the unlimited drugs out of your basement?
10 million in 10 years won’t even be that much money
And I am legit pissed after reading this that this isn’t a real offer. I would jump at this in two seconds. Maybe its true what people call us sports geeks on the internet?
Mind blown.
presmoobs: you’re willing to lose $5 million for unlimited drugs for 10 years? Fucking stupid…
The fact people are debating this is stupid. My choices were scientifically proven as perfect
Anyone else notice none of the four bloggers on barstool so far would bring their computer or internet with. Interesting.
The pick of tobacco over unlimited drugs is absolutely staggering.
@redsox027 I think I could live out my days just as comfortably on 5 mill as 10. But to be fair, there’s no “weed only option” for like 2 points. if there was I would take that and work the 10 million back into play.
Full TV, 18 year old snatch, and unlimited chronic is about all I’d need to pass the time.
Full Kitchen, booze – yes, Drugs – please, TV, Skylight & a Hound, no hygene needed cause I’ll be getting tongue baths from the dog
Color me homo but for the 23 hours and 45 minutes I’m not fucking the 18 year old smoke (assuming 3x per day), I want an 18 year old girl around me oh, never. I’d suck it up and j.o. daily to some skinemax.
@tornopen one condom for 1pt. Rinse reuse rinse reuse, you know how Jews do it. Pres still uses his condom from prom night.
God you guys are idiots… Money up front, skylight, workshop. Build a ladder and peace out motherfuckers. You assholes probably don’t wish for a million more wishes when genies come around too.
You had me right up until ya said: “If you reduce your payout to zero, you receive 40 points” Which in turn would mean you just spent ten years in the basement for absolutely NO FUCKING reason at all (i.e. Neil)
You are all dumb. You take the 5 mil up front and invest in the stock market and once the stool goes public for selling ball don’t lie shirts you make you 10 mil there.
Some guys spend 10 years of their life and 10 years of the income attempting to bang a “stunningly attractive 18 year old.” To get paid $10 million and not include her in your basement is pure nonsense. What concerns me, however, is that no one is worried about knocking-up that fertile bitch–definitely would ruin the basement chemistry.
Serious question: Do I have to talk to the hot chick when I’m not fucking her for 10 years?
Physical Graffiti
And wouldn’t a skylight in the basement also be kinda useless since…..well, let’s just say for obvious reason. Even more perplexing, why would I have expected anything more out of a colabrative blog from Mo, KFC, Feitelheeb and Pres?
hahaha nice job tossin a bone to rip van winkle
Does the chick magically remain 18 for the full 10 years or does she age with you?
40 guns
Im sorry but anyone who doesn’t include the girl is gay, whether or not you know it.
Girl -18
Workout room -5
Kitchen -6
Radio -2
Would love some drugs or booze but it is what it is. Priorities.
I cash it all in and go with 2 sex slaves.. no questions
does anyone else think it’s such a huge ripoff that for doctor they give you to be some smelly MD from new delhi? if anyone was even considering getting a DR (a stupid choice if you ask me), it’ll cost you at least 3 pts unless you want your basement smelling like curry for 10 years. and no you don’t get used to that smell ever
How the fuck can you not include the “stunningly attractive” 18 year old?? If I am locked in a basement for 10 years, a moderately attractive, slightly overweight 50 year old broad will do.
I take the chick as long as its a rotation of smoke 18yr olds every year
Taking 2 cats and 1 dog with me, access to the stock market to turn my 10 million into 50 million within 10 years and unlimited tabacco. With my last dollar im buying a gun so i can shoot the usless piece of shit dog halfway through my stay.
Boom Done.
yea there’s alot of unanswered questions about the smoke for sure. For 18 points I’m assuming she’s a porn star level sex slave who has her tubes tied. Also there should be a trade in option.
need to get access to the $10 mil and invest it (7pts), after 10 yrs of inflation that $5m won’t be worth shit. full kitchen (6), all movies/tv shows (4), all music (4), booze (5), pool table (1) = 29 pts total
when I’m out in 10 years, I can get all the 18 yr old pussy I want with my $10m (plus interest)
Pussy, TV, kitchen done = 31 points so throw in a pool table and library thanks for the 5 million.
Hey asshole, will you post the link to the sign up sheet. I’ll start tomorrow. And FYI im using all the points and writing a book about my experience which I will in turn sell for 10 million dollars. dumbasses
Smoke must do all 3 inputs without whining about it either.
I’m going Computer with Internet, Microwave Meals with unlimited sink water to flush out the sodium, skylight to not go crazy, pool table, and hygiene products
JO to porn, every tv show and movie at your fingertips, stay up to date, get some sun, pound 5 lean cuisines a day, and become a pool shark with 10 mill on the other side. Let’s go
drugs make 10 yers go in a snanp. a few months in rehab getting healthy afterwards and take your money
I’d take the 18 year old, the video games, and the TV shows. How the fuck can there be a skylight in a basement btw?
feitelberg dips pouches
I’m taking
TV = 7
Full Kitchen = 6
Booze = 5
Movies/TV shows = 4
Hygiene = 3
Drugs = 5
I’m sure 18 yr old smokes will come to me while I’m high, who cares if I wake up next to a watermelon with a hole in it.
six times the drugs
Love the comments about “how can there be a skylight in a basement?” but no one questions the ability of the basement to provide a smokeshow sex slave
In real life, anyone who took the 18 year old smoke would spend 10 years wishing they’d splurged 1 point for the gun
5 Years for $5 Mill is a reasonable decision here: 35 pts.
A list that 80% of people, I believe, would lean towards:
-All movies and TV shows…4 pts.
-Gourmet food from the finest chef…9 pts.
-52″ TV with all cable/premium packages…7 pts.
-Unlimited drugs…5 pts.
-Unlimited Tobacco Products…4 pts.
-Puppy (German Shepherd)…6 pts.
HANDS DOWN this would be the list. I weighed the pros and cons of investing in the 18 yr old chick who is DTF (that was priority No. 1 for a while), but came to the conclusion (put into business terms) that the profit margin is too small and/or limited, due to the emotional attachment that will absolutely come with ANY girl being present in my immediate surrounding for 5 years in length; my hand will suffice over a value of 18 pts for this girl, regardless of physical appearance. It wouldn’t matter if it was Amy Winehouse or Beyonce.
There you go….I considered all the elements here, and built a strategically sound and stable set up that would leave me comfortable for 5 years, worth $5,000,000.
Forget the unlimited drugs… Save some points and grow weed in the greenhouse. It might take 3 years to master the process… But the remaining 7 years will fly by. Throw in some fast food, then burn the calories as you fuck the hot chick.
funniest thing you’ve written in a long time . ya snatch.
18 year old, booze, drugs, satellite radio. Boom 10 mil
Chick – 18
Puppy – 6
TV – 7
Microwave – 2
Skylight – 2
Kitchen – 6
Library – 4
Tv – 7
Workout Room – 5
Drugs – 5
All Music – 4
Skylight – 2
Pool Table – 1
Total – 35
You got a library and all prescription drugs with weed. You live there 10 years then buy the building with the 5 mil, bring in your girl and your set for life.
All movies and tv shows – 4 points
52″ TV – 7 points
All video games – 4 points
Hygiene products – 3 points
Full kitchen – 6 points
Pool table – 1 point
Satellite Radio – 2 points
Total = 27 points
$10 million buys a lot of girls when you get out. Im not wasting 18 points on a girl who will probably try to get pregnant knowing Im about to be a multimillionaire! Besides, she’ll probably be annoying as hell and fat by year 2.
I’d prob just bring Feitelberg down into the basement and invite Zed over to have fun with me and the gimp
-
30 points total:
18-smoke (if she came with a gag to keep her from talking)
2- microwavable food
7-premium TV
2- greenhouse to grow all the weed I want and get some sun
1- pooltable
Best ten years of my life.
TWO 18 YEAR OLDS AND A TV. $0 MONEY.
Taking the girl is a no brainer but you better get the hygiene products. Hairy legs and pits ain’t cool. TV for the sports is a must. Full kitchen to keep the girl busy during games and throw in the pool table to round it out.
Not sure if this was covered or not becaause I’m not sifting through 60+ comments to find out but, Feits, did you really say that you’re a social drinker who is very social and then like 2 sentences later say you go months at a time without talking to your friends? Who the fuck do you socially drink with then, complete strangers like a deranged sociopath?
Heavily overlooked: it says you get an 18 year old. Does that mean that each year, you get a different 18 yo? If that’s the case, I’ll take the 18 year old a million times over. That means 10 chicks in 10 yrs.. way more than I’m on pace for now.. well, 10 more than I’m on pace for now..
I’ll go with the triple threat:
18 year old – 18 Points
Video Camera – 3 Points
Barry Bonds – 7 Points
Then I’ll sell my Barry Bonds sex tape for like $50 million bucks.
And fuck it, throw in the full kitchen. A man’s gotta eat.
Give me the doctor, the chick, the puppy, and the gun with 3 bullets. 2 dead bodies, 1 dead puppy, 27 points. Stare at the wall for the other 9 years, 364 days.
This is like being locked in your fucking house for 10 years. And the 18 year old for 18 points? Can I just buy one worth 16 points? Save 2 points and still have something good to fuck