I Think I’m Ready To Make My Book For Kelly Divine
So when I originally blogged the pornstar Amazon wishlist crap I said that this misspelling is definitely going to cost Kelly Divine and I’m going to actually “make book” and send it to her. Well I’ve been taking a little time on it. First, I want to make sure it gets there around Christmas. If it gets there too early she might think it’s just a random present and not a Christmas present. Then she’d be under the impression that I’ll be getting her random presents all the time. Terrible precedent to set with a new girlfriend. But second of all, I want to make sure it’s quality. Not trying to rush out a love book you know? Anyway I think I pretty much nailed it. This is what I plan on bringing to Kinkos tomorrow. Just a scrapbook compilation of pictures and phrases that I thought Kelly might find funny/cute/hot/sentimental.
Safe to say I got pretty good at Photoshop. Might have to quit and go help James Cameron with Avatar 2.
Cover
Page 1
I cannot tell a lie, this isn’t a real MacBook
Page 2
But, nonethelss, your beauty should be hanging in the Lourve. This is the Mona Devine. I did it myself in 4 years less than da Vinci. Some people see a smile, some don’t. I just see horny.
Page 3
Because when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face I get sprung.
Page 4
So if you’re a bird… I’m a bird.
Page 5
Have you ever heard that Spice Girls song “2 Become 1″? This is just the picture embodiment of that ballad. Kinda romantic?
Page 6
If this freaked you out at all I want to make one thing very clear, I’m not crazy. Not at all. My mother had me tested. See?
PS – those aren’t my arms. Mine are way bigger. lol.
Back Cover
what the hell just happened?
Bro shes fat
dumb.
A decent end to an overall bad day at the stool.
this is the dumbest thing I have ever read, and I even read one of them Twilight books
I didn’t much like this.
i think she is gonna be creeped out, real jew move by the way
If she didn’t think you were already a registered homosexual… she definitely will now.
should have let big cat handle this one….not even a bigcat fanboy but really you fucked it up. what a day at the stool
spend more time on your blog ideas you fucking retard
I heard Kelly Divine likes ass play. True story.
photoshopped so bad its good. did you do it on an apple 2e or a commadore 64?
Mac products as in the make-up. Not as in Macintosh computers. This was all a huge waste of time.
bigcat got in your head didnt he?
All I really got from this is that you’re passable as a fat-assed chick.
this is such a serial killer move
Today’s Stool has been abortion soup.
On the upside, you’ve now identified the second thing you totally suck at
I thought this was hilarious. Please send her this an post her response. Fuck the haters.
did you eat paint chips as a kid?
What’s an LLC C?
You and Neil are heading down the home-stretch tied for last. That was literally one of the worst of the worst.
A+
She’s super ugly but when you’re masturbating you don’t care.
It’s too short. Bet you’ve heard that before.
this is way funnier than i expected
what the fuck
I guess I can appreciate how weird this blog is, but I still wish Feitelberg made an honest attempt to bribe a porn star into anal in exchange for a Mac Book. And really, why not? You are already a disgrace to your family. It’s not like a series of blogs documenting your quest for real porn star anal would change any opinions about you, Feits.
I think this is hilarious. You guys are fucking fags.
haha fucking gold as a follow up to the first blog. can’t wait to find out her reaction
You know in HIMYM when Marshall’s about to get fired and Barney tells him he needs a thing he’s known for at the workplace so he’s valuable? You’re the worthless one at work fightulburger, being a creep is BC’s thing. You need your own thing. Even kneel has a thing–being shit at everything he does. You’re just pointless.
Anyone who doesn’t think this is funny has no sense of humor.
The pic of Feitelberg with a big ass is definitely the strangest erection of my day.
Why dont you just send it to the first lady since her jew husband probably wont be buying any gifts
Do you even know ass Feits?? http://imgur.com/8TSHT
i giggled then shit myself. a little of both
You’re missing the mixtape. Otherwise a home run.
Wait is this supposed to be funny? You probably thought this was so cool.
you know whats really sad is that poor shmoes actually buy that sled shit.
thumbs up feiteljew, solid post
Such a waste of time and energy when you could just drop 500 beans and fuck her brains out for a half an hour. I’m sure she’ll probably visit Boston sometime next year. Carmella Bing is in town on Wednesday since you seem to like the porterhouses of asses… http://www.globalcourtesans.com/index.php
WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. THAT. Were you on something, serious question? That was the most random incoherent string of pictures I’ve ever seen.