So when I originally blogged the pornstar Amazon wishlist crap I said that this misspelling is definitely going to cost Kelly Divine and I’m going to actually “make book” and send it to her.  Well I’ve been taking a little time on it. First, I want to make sure it gets there around Christmas. If it gets there too early she might think it’s just a random present and not a Christmas present. Then she’d be under the impression that I’ll be getting her random presents all the time. Terrible precedent to set with a new girlfriend. But second of all, I want to make sure it’s quality. Not trying to rush out a love book you know? Anyway I think I pretty much nailed it. This is what I plan on bringing to Kinkos tomorrow. Just a scrapbook compilation of pictures and phrases that I thought Kelly might find funny/cute/hot/sentimental.

Safe to say I got pretty good at Photoshop. Might have to quit and go help James Cameron with Avatar 2.


Page 1

I cannot tell a lie, this isn’t a real MacBook

Page 2

But, nonethelss, your beauty should be hanging in the Lourve. This is the Mona Devine. I did it myself in 4 years less than da Vinci. Some people see a smile, some don’t. I just see horny.

Page 3

Because when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face I get sprung.

Page 4

So if you’re a bird… I’m a bird.

Page 5

Have you ever heard that Spice Girls song “2 Become 1″? This is just the picture embodiment of that ballad. Kinda romantic?

Page 6

If this freaked you out at all I want to make one thing very clear, I’m not crazy. Not at all. My mother had me tested. See?

PS – those aren’t my arms. Mine are way bigger. lol.

Back Cover