I Want To Punch The Teavana “Tea of the Month Club” Right In the Face
I have a rant blog. The First Lady loves tea. Drinks a cup every night. So being the awesome husband I am I got her a tea of the month club subscription for Christmas. I tried to find a good one for her and landed on Teavana. It’s like 250 bucks a year or something like that. It was the most expensive one I could find because that’s how moguls roll. Anyway I’ve never seen anybody put less effort into anything in my life than Teavana does with this shit. They just drop the fucking tea in a box and ship it off like it’s garbage. Hey assholes this is a god damn gift. Can you do me a favor and attempt to make this look presentable? Gift wrap it or something? Maybe not have a homeless person put it together. Try not to make it look like a bag of dicks. Or at the very least can you tell me a story about the fucking tea? Like I want to hear how soothing it is and the story behind it. Wine and dine me a bit. Give me the bells and whistles. Tea is just as much about the experience as it is the cup. This is a fucking disgrace.
It is a fucking disgrace. (That you havent posted her titties yet)
Insert teabagging joke here.
I am not only laughing at this A+ blog, I am also laughing at your misfortune
I’d like to drop my T in Renee’s box
This is what happens when I buy a stoolie shirt and it comes 3 month later
well… at least its not a cock blog
Fuck you Pres
Got the same thing for my ex-girlfriend a year back, expensive as fuck
Renee loves anal
I bet Renee would like a bag of dicks better than some goddam tea
Renee actually does have nice tits.
Renee loves my farts
you are such a whiny, dumb bitch
Any chance Renee likes her tea like she likes her men?
You sound like a chick.
Tell Sarah from UMass to take a look at the pics of Christina from Ronkonkoma. THAT is what I expect from a smoke: slutty Halloween costumes, tits here, legs there.I wanna stay local for my after work jerk session but had to outsource to NYBSS today. Sarah needs to seek some redemption! fap fap fap
Renee’s vagina taste like Honey Nut Cheerios !!
Dave, does it bother you that Renee prefers circumsized cocks?
Get an new phone that picture looks like it was taken on a razr
A, You’re a coupla heebs, what are you swapping XMas gifts for anyway?
B. Buying something just because it’s the most expensive is low rent ghetto fabulous stuff. Act like a mogul that’s been there before
C. If you keep bragging about buying your wife gifts from Chanel and going to St Barths even the mutants that are the stoolie army will figure out they are lining your pockets and will stop buying your crap.
The only tea that filthy cum dumpster Jew whore likes is a filthy niggas nutsack tea bagging her while u sit in the corner spinning ur dradle and counting pennies. Die Jew die
Don’t worry about your gift, she is more than happy with the Facial of the Week gift I gave her
I am doubled over laughing reading this. I think it was the ‘Try not to make it look like a bag of dicks’. that set me off. A+ blog.
Tell Renee to stop wearing sunglasses in every picture. In the words of a loyal Clayton Bigsby follower, “WE WANNA SEE YER FAAAAACE!!!”
If you want to experience pure pain, visit teavana at the south shore plaza. They are like beggars.
Wait people buy stuff from barstool? Mind bottling
Should have just gotten her the bag of dicks. It’s what she really wanted anyway.
On Reddit, Pageviews claimed he made $500,000 last year.
“bag of dicks”, Louie CK ripoff
The story of the tea is they box it like a pile of dicks and some shit sucker who thinks he’s a mogul pays $250 for something he could probably buy at Target for $4.
All Renee/BagOdicks/cheerios jokes aside, you should have just played like that was the most Awesome wrap job ever…. just oohed and aahed all over that shit. Gauruntee she would eat that up and buy into it. You might even get a beaner out of it.
All Renee/BagOdicks/cheerios jokes aside, you should have just played like that was the most Awesome wrap job ever…. just oohed and aahed all over that shit. Gauruntee she would eat that up and buy into it. You might even get a beaner out of it.
I want to punch u right in the huge enormous gigantic massive nose. Quit bitching u fucking vagina
first world problems
I love how much hate you get Pres, but when outsiders try and take down the stool every single one of these mother fuckers calling you out for being a gayball defends you like a brother
Moguls don’t shop at Bob’s Furniture. $250 in tea resting on a $250 pleather recliner.
did you click the gift-wrap option on checkout (which is there)…
I want the smokeshow to cradle my ball sack the way she’s holding that baby pumpkin.
http://thechive.com/2013/01/10/genius-or-stupid-30-photos-2/genius-or-stupid-0-8/
i think this is what you were looking for
talk about first world problems..
Everybody shut the fuck up
El Pres is a cheap piece of shit. First lady is getting her tea whether it is a gift or not… so by buying her a gift of something she would buy anyway; he erases out a gift. Long story short, el pres blow cock.
‘My son, Sean Carroll is the best lineman ever to wear big 78, you can take that to the bank channel 8 viewers.’
you’re such a fairy…it’s fucking tea for god’s sake
its cuz your jewish
The only disgrace is that 1970s furniture you have.
Totally tea bagged by the looks of it.
the lack of slutty pics let me down, but that smoke is a potato sacker if I’ve ever seen one
YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS, CLASSIC ELPRES, TRYING TO SCORE FREE SHIT
Is Teavana’s tagline “Tea for the Common Man by the Common Man”? If so, that package makes sense.
more like $2.50 bucks a year you fraud
That pumpkin she is holding looks like the nut i BLEW
Prez…two words Talbott Teas. Thank me later
do you complain because all the wine is “old wine”? we don’t want this 1977 MArgaux shit, get me some NEW wine”
and do the math, your $250 gift is 4 bucks worth of tea a month plus 16 dollars shipping and handling.
what’s the next post gonna be, the fucking caviar is too salty? the champagne has too many bubbles?
you are just a moron for buying tea anywhere besides Costco/BJs/Target/Market Basket
Only been to a Teavana once at the SS Plaza, immediately wanted to start throwing elbows at the tool behind the register and the fat bitch asking about green tea weight loss. TEA WON’T MAKE YOU LOSE WEIGHT! TRY USING THE 50 SHAPES OF GREY, jackass!
Those monthly subscription services are for dumbasses who are incapable of doing math and realizing that their $250 subscription would’ve cost them $25 if they just went to the store.
This is why jews shouldnt buy christmas gifts
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