If Mine That Bird Could Talk…
NEW YORK – And on Belmont Stakes day, the filly will rest. The latest episode of “How The Triple Crown Turns” resolved some major issues with the announcement that leading lady Rachel Alexandra will not run in the Belmont next Saturday. In the Triple Crown’s final installment, it is this: Leading man Calvin Borel will get back on Mine That Bird with a chance to become the first jockey to win the Kentucky Derby, Preakness and the Belmont on different horses. Borel won the Derby aboard Mine That Bird at 50-1 odds, then jilted him for Rachel and beat the Derby winner in the Preakness by a length. Since Borel has ridden the filly to six straight wins, he said he’d be loyal if she ran in the Belmont. But now he’s free for Mine That Bird and ready to compete in his first Belmont with history riding on the outcome.”Now that this decision is made, I am excited to come to New York and ride Mine That Bird in the Belmont Stakes,” Borel said, thanking the gelding’s trainer Chip Woolley and co-owners Mark Allen and Dr. Leonard Blach for their patience before naming a rider.
Whenever horse lovers talk about horse racing they always make it seem like the horse is a human being. Like it understands the difference between running in say the Kentucky Derby or the 4th at Suffolk. That they know when people take a picture of it it’s because they are a champion and on and on and on. Well for Calvin Borel’s sake let’s hope that’s not true because if it is I’m pretty sure this is what Mine That Bird would say to him.
“Dude are you serious? Who the fuck do you think you are? You think that I forgot you jumped off me in the Preakness for that bitch horse? Now you want to get back on because the chick didn’t have the balls to face me in the Belmont? Everybody knows the better horse didn’t win that last race. Mike Smith rode me like a chump and I still almost beat your ass. Don’t think I didn’t notice you sweating when I was fucking flying down the back stretch. I would have beaten Rachel Alexandria by 20 furlongs in the Belmont if she had the guts to face me. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. And I probably would have won the triple crown if you didn’t jump off me like a coward. So sorry thanks but no thanks. Go find some other horse to ride now. I’ll fucking win this thing with Cliff Dooley on my ass. Peace out midget.”
They call him Mr. Ed
gee, who did EP bet on?
If that was true, Mine that Bird would say “Why’d you cut my balls off, you fucking assholes! I’d be knee deep in horse pussy the rest of my life, but now I get a date with a shotgun in a year or two. Thank you very much!”
That is one of the funniest things you have ever written EP.
lets hope mine that bird loses and Borrell gets blamed he will go from hero to zero in 1 1/2 minutes http://www.ctsportspicks.com
Holy shit Trapp….you went 1-5 yesterday? How do you go against the Dodgers when they were getting so much value? Pretty predictable that the Cubs wouldn’t show up yesterday. That score was closer than the gme.
dude mine that bird is so gonna rail rachel alexandra when they’re done with their careers. highest profile horse couple ever. nevertheless, holding some kindergartner’s macaroni picture together is their ultimate fate.