I’m Not Going To Sit Here And Lets Some 3rd Grader Disrespect Plain Donuts
So this is spreading like wildfire on the Internet today. I don’t know if it’s real or fake or what, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to sit here and let some 3rd grader disrespect plain donuts. Not on my watch. Plain donuts are the only real donuts there are. They don’t need sprinkles and sugar and all those gimmick plays. A plain donut is like the Green Bay Packers Power Sweep. Nothing tricky. Nothing fancy. You know it’s coming and you still can’t stop it. I’ve long been a champion of plain donuts. But that’s maybe just the type of person I am. I value hard work, honesty and integrity. More grit that glitter. More spit than polish. Just like a plain donut. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy a good chocolate donut or powdered donuts from time to time, but the plain donut is the foundation that all other donuts are built upon. Don’t ever forget that.
This is what order I eat my munchkins in. Anybody who has plain less than 3rd on the donut pie chart is a moron.
1. chocolate
2. Plain
3. Glazed
4. Sugar
5. The rest
Is this one of those who blogged it better blogs? If so 3rd grader wins by a nose…see what i did there
That 3rd grader’s essay reads like a B+ Barstool blog.
Pres for the first time since I started reading this piece of shit website you actually make sense. This is a genius response to a dumb-ass “kid” who wrote this. Bravo, finally.
By the way figure out smarter navigation on your Smoke Brackets. Come on man, you’re better than that.
Plain donuts are a waste of time.
plain donuts are fucking gay
rating plain anywhere in your top 10 is a crime
Pres, is this the essay you submitted to the Admissions office at Michigan?
You just disrespected the jelly munchkin like a motherfucker. It is not “the rest.” It’s a fucking jelly munchkin. You’re a moron.
“I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.”
1.) Chocolate
2.) Glazed
3.) Jelly
Take a lap Pres. Plain donuts are the karate of martial arts which is the Dane Cook of comics.
I’m surprised you didn’t request that Dunkins send you some freebes for your endorsement you cheap Jew
I’m surprised you didn’t request that Dunkins send you some freebes for your endorsement you cheap Jew
If you don’t have Jelly in the top 3, you’re a moron!
grown man surfing the internet for a 3rd grade essay #winning
1.) Glazed
2.) Chocolate glazed
3.) Chocolate frosted
4.) Jelly
Is it weird that my favorite Dunkin Donuts donut is the “glazed stick.” How gay do I sound ordering that?
I’m 97% sure the weird Stonehenge kid wrote this essay in class this morning.
Day by day, making it clear why you’re a fat cunt. Good luck with you’re heart attack.
Does this kid know anything about sports? If so, hire him today Pres. His essay is definitely funnier than your blog about it.
OMG I agree 100% with you Prez. I award my favorite person of the week because I deal with dipshit subcontractors that do nothing to help anyone out, so that one person who stands out among the rest gets awarded my person-of-the-week award. Today, Mr Prez, you win.
Serious Question… What planet is this?
Cannot be Earth, because nobody on Earth likes plain donuts…
@the diesel….spot on i was thinking the same thing…. author thinks its clevor and funny, while its only mildly amusing, riddled with errors. Kid should get hired asap
@tr1d3nt..if you use “bravo” as common language, you dont belong. you are the weakest link, goodbye
This kid writes better than Smitty. Not even joking
You should hire this kid. is writing style is somewhere between yours and Seinfeld’s and he’s a much better speller.
Plain donut and a coffee = best donut combo out there.
U Mad?
1) Jelly
2) Choc Glazed
3) Glazed
4) Boston Kreme
5) Choc Frosted
Kane’s in Saugus – best donuts around
plain donuts blow
3rd grader writes better than Pres
A fucking plus Pres. Plain donut and a coffee from Dunkin might be one of the greatest combos since Bird-McHale.
@ReadyFuelz: I’ve made so many jokes about “glazed sticks” it’s ridiculous.
I’m glad you didn’t “lets” some 3rd grader disrespect plain donuts. You fucking moron.
i wipe my ass with plain donuts
Jelly donut
Chocolate Frosted
glazed
the scrapings on the bottom of the tray
plain
anyone who endorses plain donuts is a dipshit
every person arguing that plain donuts go great with coffee are just furthering the point that plain donuts suck. they need coffee to make them good, which means they suck on their own
Glazed, then Jelly, then 2 more glazed, then a chocolate, then a plain I thought was jelly.
Then I hide the rest of the glazed in my pants.
some DD have lemon munchkins, those go right to the top without a doubt. They actually get 1st 2nd and 3rd place. But it comes with an asterisk, not available everywhere.
The kid is right. Plain donuts* just flat-out suck.
.
*The exception to the rule is a plain donut** with peanut butter.
.
**Try a chocolate glazed with peanut butter for a toe-curling orgasm!
A fucking men to that. I have never wanted to kill a 3rd grader more in my life than right now.
@ callmesirgoddamnit: I am now going to call you Nancy for quoting that gay ass fuckin song. You’ve caught the ghey worse than the homo with the glazed stick shied up his ass. You belong in a prison pride parade holding onto the out-turned pocket of a dominant gay male who will put you in your place like the blob of jelly bitch that you are. Go suck on a Boston Creme filled stick mother fucker
Pres, not only does this kid post like you, but his paper is better than any drool I’ve read on here in years
Oh and one more thing, I now have that song stuck in my head you asshole! Currently searching for a gun to blow my fuckin brains out because of you…
Dunkin’s blueberry cake donut or a choc chip muffin (shut up). If they don’t have either, out the door with just my medium iced.
Donuts suck eat a bagel.
@clynch86 If you make reference to the catchphrase on the dumbest show in the history of television as “common language,” then you should probably be posting at E! online. GTFO here
Plain donuts were cool in the 50′s…
I feel like something is going under the radar with all of you, this kid has incredible handwriting. Each letter is crisp.
Also, you have not lived until you’ve had a cocoa creme doughnut from Dunkin’ Donuts. Its the cakey texture of a jelly doughnut with sugar over it, but chocolate flavored. But, the real game changer is the creme inside, the sweetest vanilla frosting you’ll ever taste. I wouldn’t doubt that the creme filling is jizz, because every bite is an orgy in your mouth
Plain donut should not exist.
I really like old fashioned doughnuts.
Call me white trash, call me what you want, but 7/11 has the best glazed donuts on the market right now. Dont hate until youve tried. They are no joke. They are so good I made this comment in bold
ps. plain donuts are only good dipped in coffee. Once this kid starts drinking coffee his plain donut opinion will change undoubtedly
Whats the over/under on this fat kids weight? I’m saying the line is at 180 and im taking the over. Who writes this passionately about food? Fat kids, and fat dudes(pres).
plain donuts are like cheese pizza….pointless.
actually, just remembered my 80 year old dad eats plain donuts. but he at least puts jam on it. weird bird, my pops…
Plain donuts are good to dip in strawberry milk, but other than that, they’re useless. The two best donuts are the glazed stick and chocolate glazed stick (which looks like a big black cock).
Haha thats funny Tha_Dro_Man.
Jelly Sticks. Get a couple extra’s and you can skip your daily trip to the Revere Bath House.
the 3rd grader has better grammar than pres, maybe he should hire the kid to write for barstool now that he gave up looking for more writers
the 3rd grader has better grammar than pres, maybe he should hire the kid to write for barstool now that he gave up looking for more writers
boston kreme hands down
When theres a box of munchkins the only time anyone eats the plains is when they mistake them for jellys.
The plain donut is delicous because you can dip it in your coffee and you can’t do that with any other donut. So the plain donut is a one of a kind. This kid is a retard.
plain donuts? r u serious