Boston – Mayor Thomas M. Menino declared a public health emergency Wednesday morning because of the expanding flu outbreak. Health care centers across the city will be offering free vaccines to anyone who hasn’t yet been immunized. The city has 700 confirmed cases of flu so and four flu-related deaths. Last year Boston had only 70 confirmed cases. Massachusetts has had 18 flu-related deaths so far this season, according to the state Department of Public Health. Public health officials emphasized that it’s not to late to get a flu vaccine. Here’s where to find a free shot. “We’re off to an early start nationally and in Massachusetts,” Kevin Cranston, director of the DPH Bureau of Infectious Disease, told reporters today before a meeting of the state Public Health Council. While the last two flu seasons have been mild, this one is on pace to be a “moderately severe” season, he said. “This is probably on its way to be more severe than average but still not unprecedented in severity.”

 

First of all, that headline is absolutely brilliant. Second of all, has there ever been anything more overhyped every year than the flu? There’s always some new type of flu coming along that’s gonna murder all human life and wipe us off the face of the earth. And even when it’s just your regular, average, run-of-the-mill flu we still got Menino declaring a public health emergency. What do I have to stop licking train seats now? Can’t ask homeless people for a sip of their Gatorade anymore? I shouldn’t resume coughing on strangers until we’re back in non-emergency mode? Thanks for the tip dude.

Seriously fuck the fucking flu. This happens EVERY YEAR and for some reason society gets collective amnesia and panties get twisted all over the place. Yeah some people might get sick but people get sick all the time. It’s just part of humanity. But I’m sure all the college kids in Boston will see that we’re in a state of emergency and stop playing beer pong and hooking up with each other. I’m sure people won’t ride the T to work anymore. I’m sure lifestyles will drastically alter because of the flu emergency just like they don’t do every year.

I’m telling you, the fucking flu, man. Biggest attention whore going these days.