So tonight is the last episode ever of the Office. Since it’s my favorite comedy show of all time I had to pay homage. Now for me the Office really ended in Season 6 after Jim and Pam got married . Sure there were some good episodes sprinkled in afterwards, but I didn’t even consider them for this list. This is the best of the best seasons. Obviously there are tons of episodes that could be on this list. And there are like 20 quotes per episode that could be my favorite quote. I could have spend the next year refining this list, but I wanted to finish it today so here you go….
20. Christmas Party – Season 2
Favorite Quote – Dwight - “A real man makes his own Luck. Billy Zane, Titantic.”
19. Stress Relief – Season 5
Favorite Quote – Michael Scott - Jim, you’re 6’11″, and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you’re a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you’ve slept with so many guys you’re starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela, where’s Angela? Well, there you are. I didn’t see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted.
18. The Dundies – Season 2
Favorite Quote – Michael Scott “A lot of the people here don’t get trophies very often, like Meridith or Kevin. I mean who’s gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin’ Donuts?”
17. Branch Wars – Season 4
Favorite Quote - Andy Bernard: The Finer Things Club is the most exclusive club in this office. Naturally, it’s where I need to be. The Party Planning Committee is my backup and Kevin’s band is my safety.
16. Diversity Day – Season 1
Favorite Quote - Michael Scott – You’ll notice I didn’t have anybody being Arab. I thought that would be too explosive. No pun intended. But I just thought, “Too soon for Arabs.” Maybe next year. Um… You know, the ball’s in their court.
15. Customer Training – Season 5
Favorite Quote – Ryan - Oh I don’t play the politics game anymore, Jim. Can I tell you something? I played it full on in New York. I played it high-stakes. For keeps. Made it to the top. But look what it cost.
14. The Merger – Season 3
Karen I think I’m just allergic to your perfume.
Phyllis: My perfume?
Karen: You know, it’s just my crazy nose. I’m, uh, used to different smells.
Phyllis: Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in Metropolitan, Orlando. It’s made from real pine.
Karen: Who’s Bob Vance?
Phyllis: You have a lot to learn about this town, sweetie.
13. Launch Party – Season 4
Favorite Quote – Dwight - It appears that the website has become alive. This happens to computers and robots sometimes. Am I scared of a stupid computer? Please. The computer should be scared of me. I have been salesman of the month for 13 of the last 12 months. You heard me right. I did so well last February that Corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise.
12. The Initiation – Season 3
Favorite Quote – Dwight - “And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed, in you.”
11. Drug Testing – Season 2
Favorite Quote Dwight - “This is Not Kelly Kapoor Story Hour”
10. Hot Girl – Season 1
Favorite Quote – Michael Scott – I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate… no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it… Nike.
9. Broke – Season 5
Favorite Quote - Dwight - “Hey, let me float something out there, okay? Can I just say… Can I say something? There is a hive of bees outside the front door. We kidnap the queen, extract her alarm pheromones, place them on a flushable wipe, and put that in his bathroom.”
8. The Duel – Season 5
Favorite Quote – Kevin - “Come on Man…Believe in Something”
7.Dinner Party – Season 4
Jim Halpert: So, how do you guys know each other?
Dwight’s Babysitter: I was his babysitter.
Pam Beesly: And now you guys are, dating?
Dwight Schrute: Purely carnal. That’s all you need to know.
6. Product Recall – Season 3
Favorite Quote – Michael Scott - Here’s the thing. When a company screws up, best thing to do is call a press conference. Alert the media and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. That’s what happened to O.J.
Honorable Mention – “First rule of road side beet sales…..”
5. Business Trip – Season 5
Favorite Quote – Michael Scott – A concierge is the Winnipeg equivalent of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure. And when you meet one it is intoxicating. Just what the doctor ordered.
4. Niagara Falls Wedding – Season 6
Favorite Quote – Kevin – “My Kleenex Shoes were a huge conversation piece.”
3. The Coup – Season 3
Favorite Quote – Michael Scott – “Your dentists name is Crentist”
2. Back From Vacation – Season 3
Favorite Quote – Michael Scott – A sensitive email has been released to the office. It contains a file. A picture. Filename is Jamaica Jan Sun Princess.
1. Gay Witch Hunt – Season 3
Favorite Quote Michael Scott – [in regards to Oscar being gay] I would have never called him that if I knew. You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they’re acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.