adamporterhero

 

ROCHESTER — Police charged a local man recently after he allegedly attacked his manager at Friendly’s with an 80-ounce caramel Heath bar ice cream cake. Adam Porter, 30, of 42 North Main St. Apt. 4, pleaded not guilty in District Court Monday to allegations of misdemeanor simple assault and criminal mischief. Police Capt. Paul Callaghan said Porter was an employee at the South Main Street Friendly’s who gave his two-week notice late last year. His last day was Jan. 10, and at 7:30 p.m., he encountered his manager a final time. Callaghan said the manager went to pick up a ringing phone, no one was on the other line, and when he turned around he unexpectedly found himself face-to-face with an “80-ounce sheet of cake.” Porter allegedly threw the $22 frozen cake into his boss’s face, resulting in a bloody nose, Callaghan said. Following a police investigation, Porter was charged on Jan. 31 with assaulting his manager. He remains free on $1,000 personal recognizance bail and is scheduled for trial on April 21. He is to have no entry into Friendly’s.

If people go back amongst the annals of Barstool Sports you’ll find that I’ve probably only used the word “hero” 2 or 3 times in the history of the Stool. Maybe not even that many.  I just don’t like throwing it out there  unless it’s the best of the best of the best because it loses it’s impact when you finally run across somebody worthy of that title.  Well that somebody is Adam Porter. Because make no mistake about it this guy belongs right up there with Davey Crockett, George Washington, Abe Lincoln and Nomar. I mean to execute the fabled last day of work, prank call, 80 ounce caramel Heath Bar Ice Cream Cake to the face move on your mimimum wage boss is truly the stuff of legend. Today Adam Porter we salute you.

PS – This is maybe my favorite line from any article we’ve ever posted. “when he turned around he unexpectedly found himself face-to-face with an “80-ounce sheet of cake.” I hate when that happens.