(Jan. 25) – When you play for the New York Towers – New York’s all-dwarf basketball team – you hear this question a lot: Do you play on a regular-size court? It’s a question that irks some little people. Dwarfs don’t drive miniature cars. They don’t live in dollhouses. Why wouldn’t they play basketball like everybody else? “The concept itself is hard for some average-size people to think about – small people playing a big man’s game,” says Clinton Brown III, the team’s 3-foot, 3-inch general manager. “It just goes to show you that with a little bit of fortitude and heart you can accomplish what you desire.” “We’ve got people like Tiny Archibald to Nate Robinson who paved the way for people like us. It’s not about your size, it’s about your heart. You can do anything with your heart. Just follow it.”

 

Listen I love dwarfs as much as the next guy.  But how does playing playing hoops vs other midgets prove anything? Yeah that black dude has a pretty good handle, but what would he do when I backed him down into the paint? Then what? I guarantee you I’d dominate this league. I’m talking triple, triple every night out. Blocks, rebounds, points. I’d pile that shit up like candy. And then after the game is over, I’d go fuck the shit out of those midget cheerleader looking for some full grown cock. So again I think it’s cool that they have their own league and want to play at half time of NBA games, but call me back when they beat a team of normal sized people. Until then color me unimpressed.