Liquid Lapdance™ Lap Dance Pants – The brilliant new product for men that heightens the sensation of sensual dancing. There’s nothing better than having a beautiful dancer on top of you. Traditional underwear aren’t designed to give you the freedom or texture to fully enjoy the action. They’re dry and rough. They’re confining. They can make grinding painful. Liquid Lapdance™ is the world’s first underwear designed specifically for lap dances. They’re just like a regular pair of underwear, but they have a special latex extension for the male anatomy. Add a bit of lube to the latex part and you’re ready for the best lap dance of your life. Features: • Specially designed latex part – Allows you to have an amazing lubricated lap dance experience! • Cotton part is just a regular pair of undies – So comfortable you’ll forget you’re wearing them! • Patent-pending design – A true breakthrough in lap dance technology! • Undetectable – No one can tell you have them on… Not even when they’re dancing on you or touching your lap! • Lube packet included – Allows you to glide and slide with the dancer’s body and feel every move! You haven’t had a lap dance until you’ve had a Liquid Lapdance! Order today and we’ll rush you a pair… or better yet, a three pack. Go on, make it rain! One size fits all. Lap Dance Pants and lube packet included.
First of all let me just say that this Liquid Lapdance website is one of the most entertaining websites I’ve been on in a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed the article on top ten pairs of pants to wear to strip club and how many lap dances should it take bust a nut. Not good stuff. Great stuff. Having said that I totally don’t get this invention.
I thought for sure the Liquid Lapdance was going to be some contraption that let you shoot your load into your underwear and it would somehow catch the load and then you could neatly throw it away and be clean and fresh and ready to go again. Instead it just seems like a way to overstimulate a lapdance? Umm no offense but that’s the last thing I need. I mean I can cum just looking at a chick nevermind when she’s grinding her ass on my dick. The only reason I don’t bust nuts every two seconds is because I don’t feel like walking around with jizz in my pants all day. So I don’t see how Liquid Lapdance helps this situation? It basically makes you cum instantly. Well then what? You’re just sticky and gross the rest of the night? No thanks. Invent something that feels good and cleans up quick and I’m in. Otherwise I think the future is in writing for Bella Zarama. If she wants a job call me. I’m sold…..After reading this you will be too…
The 10 Best Pants to Wear When Getting a Lap Dance
Posted by Bella Zarama on February 26, 2012 0 Comments
The selection of soft, baggy pants available today is surprisingly large. At Liquid Lapdance, our testers have tried them all. We’ve found the key to choosing the right strip club pants for you is to find a pant that gets the job done and fits your personality. You need to be comfortable, and you need to FEEL comfortable too. And of course there are other desirable features which we’ll get into below…
#1 The Hardcore Regular - Nothing says “There’s no shame in my game” like wearing a pair of athletic shorts to the club. Give her easy up-leg access with the Microshorts II by Under Armour. These shorts were born for the strip club. They feature a “Lightweight, 4-way stretch fabric” and a “9 inch deep inseam”… you know you’ll need it! Just make sure the club you’re headed to doesn’t have a dress code.
#2 The Business Man – If you’re the type of guy who’s most comfortable in a three-piece suit, no need to change before heading to the club. Formal wear may not seem like ideal lap dancing attire, but few garments are as thin and pleasure conducting as a fine pair of trousers. Flat-front trousers are the more stylish option, but pleated trousers were designed with your erectile tissue in mind. Consider this pair of Double Reverse Pleat Dress Pants by Ralph Lauren… We’re pretty sure Ralph designed them while he was receiving a lap dance. Features include a “natural stretch fabric and lining” that “moves with you and looks great all day”. They have an “engineered stretch waistband” that “expands up to 2 inches for comfort”. They boast a “Teflon coating for stain resistance”, they’re “lined to the knee”, and they have “button-through back pockets” to keep your money safe during the dance. Bravo!
#3 The Yogi – What dancer wouldn’t rather dance for a guy who’s at peace with the universe? Let the girls know your chakras are open and you’re ready for some serious grinding by showing up to the club in the Prana Sutra Pant by Prana. Features include an “inseam gusset” for more crotch-room, “front pockets with stitch detail” so they look like regular pants, a “drawstring waist” so you can leave your belt at home, and “super-wide legs”. They’re a favorite among yogis because of their “breathability, limitless movement, and mindful use of hemp and PET”. We love them because they give us all the benefits of wearing sweatpants to the strip club without having to actually wear sweatpants to the strip club.
#4 The Modern Hippie – Hippies don’t like anything that has them by the balls. Not mainstream culture, not the government, not a greedy corporation, not a pair of underwear. And certainly not the inseam of a pair of trousers. Hippies definitely do like lap dances, though… although they prefer free ones. And when a hippie is receiving a lap dance, what could possibly be a better garment to wear than these Harem Pants by Pop Homme? As the description notes, “You will be more handsome and vigorous with the harem pants”, and you’ll certainly appreciate “the freedom of movement and soft comfort”.
#5 The Pro Athlete – Nothing says, “I’m hung like Kobe” quite as well as rolling up to the club wearing the Los Angeles Lakers On-Court Warmup Pant by Adidas. The pant features a woven Clima® fabric mix and an embroidered NBA team patch on the left hip. Buy them from the NBA store for added street cred.
#6 The Lounge Lizard – Nothing says, “I’m here every Tuesday” like walking into strip club with a pair of sweatpants on. But, that never stopped any of the Liquid Lapdance testers. If you’re gonna do it, do it in style with the Hugo Boss French Terry Lounge Pant. They’re every bit as soft as the softest pair of sweats, and they don’t give that K-mart vibe. The wide elastic waistband and non-elastic cuffs give them the vibe of a more formal pant. The girls will appreciate the luxurious feel as they rub their bottom up and down your lap… and hopefully, by the end of the night, they’ll have forgiven you were there last Tuesday wearing the exact same pants and sitting in the exact same corner.
#7 The Trust Fund Baby – Nothing says, “My grandpa made the money I’m about to stuff in your g-string” better than a pair of Cubavera Linen Drawstring Pants from Macy’s. ”Light, comfortable and casual, this drawstring pant offers the perfect style for relaxed, summertime get-togethers.” They also work pretty well for intense 30-minute dry-humping sessions in the VIP at Spearmint Rhino. Features include an “Elasticized Waist with Drawstring Closure”, a zip fly that makes it look like a legit pant, slant pockets on hips (for your singles), and back patch pockets with button closures (to keep the rest of your wad safe from pickpockets).
#8 The Martial Artist – Few things are sexier than a man who knows how to protect himself and his lady. Whether you’re a green belt in taekwondo, or just a dude looking for a thin pair of pants to get freaky in, Black Karate Pants by Macho will make you feel like a combat ready warrior in the VIP. Features include a “Triangular Crotch Seam for Enhanced Mobility” and an “Elastic Drawstring Waist”.
#9 The Surgeon – There is no pajama on earth that projects more power than the caribbean blue Unisex Scrub Pant. Scrubs are literally a pair of pajamas that’s socially acceptable to wear out and about–as long as you’re a doctor, dentist, nurse, or other medical technician headed home from work. But that’s the wonderful thing about strip clubs… everything that’s said inside the club is part of the fantasy… there’s no reason you can’t tell the girls you’re a surgeon who just did six boob jobs and three noses. Features include an “Easy-pull Drawstring Waist” that is sewn to the back to prevent slipping and a “Back Left Pocket” for your wad.
#10 The Cop – Strippers can spot a cop a mile away. The short haircut. The stick up your ass. It’s pretty obvious. So don’t try to hide your job. Everybody knows cops get horny as fuck driving around on an 8-hour power trip. Change your shirt and take off your bullet-proof vest, but wear your department-issue Tactical TacLite Pro Pants straight to the club. Features include a “Diamond Gusset Crotch” to add breadth and reduce stress, a “Locking Flange Zipper”, and a “Self-adjusting Waistband”. And did we mention they’re treated with HT Teflon® to shed moisture and prevent staining? Put it all together and these might just be the best strip club pants ever invented.
What NOT to wear:
- Leave the tight jeans at home, cowboy. I don’t care how numb your balls are from riding your horse all day… there’s just no room a good time in your Levis.
- Avoid the button fly.
- Leave your belt at home (or in the car).
- Throw that enormous belt buckle away. Better yet, sell it for scrap.
Undergarments: What kind of underwear should you wear during a lap dance?
Some guys wear silk boxers when they’re getting a lap dance. Some guys wear whitie-tighties. Some guys show up at the strip club free-balling commando style… The truth is, there’s only one type of underwear that was specifically designed to accommodate (and stimulate) the male anatomy during a lap dance, and that’s Liquid Lapdance “Lap Dance Pants”. If you haven’t tried them, it’s quite an experience. As we say, “You haven’t had a lap dance until you’ve had a Liquid Lapdance.” Click here to see Liquid Lapdance in action.