DM – The first known instance of creatures growing their own ‘disposable penises’ has been discovered by researchers after studying the mating habits of sea slugs. Researchers in Japan were astonished when they realised that a group of sea slugs called Chromodoris reticulata would lose their penises after sex but then grow another one a few hours later. Marine invertebrate expert Bernard Picton, of National Museums Northern Ireland, said: ‘I’ve never seen anything like this before.’

 

I like this sea slug’s style. Just the ultimate oceanic player. He figured out that the more cocks you can grow, the more slug bitches you can get. I mean it’s one thing to fuck a lot of slug pussy and never call them again. But it’s another thing to just detach your cock right after you bust a slug nut and hit the road. Leave it inside them and be out the door before she even knows what hit her. That’s some coldhearted shit right there. It’s the ultimate “no handcuffs” move with a chick. Fire one off, unhook the dick and be a ghost. Hit McDonald’s breakfast on the way home and spend the rest of the day resting up, growing your junk back and getting ready for Saturday night. Not to mention you’ll never have to worry about STDs. Be like listen slug bitch, I just grew this boner an hour ago, it’s fresh. Got that new boner smell and everything. Nothing to worry about.

Yup, just leaving a trail of disposable cocks and sore slug vaginas in his wake. Keep doing you sea slug. Keep doing you.