I swear to god this is going to be my last Four Loko blog for awhile, but I just had to revisit this entire saga one last time. Because when you really think about it this is just an extraordinary example oft how fucked up this country can be. I mean by all accounts there is zero evidence of Four Loko being any more dangerous than any other alcoholic drink on the market right now. Not even a hint of evidence. Yet within a matter of weeks the anti Four Loko crusade went from a whisper to a full Government ban. This is despite the fact Four Loko has been on the market since 2005. So what happened? What caused turned this into a National Emergency? To be honest I’m not even sure. But here is the Four Loko Timeline of events as far as I can tell.
August 31st – Barstool Sports mentions Four Loko for the first time saying it’s becoming popular with college kids and starting to blow up.
October 18th -Barstool reports that Ramapo College in New Jersey Bans the Drink after 16 students get alcholo poisoning even though only 6 were driking Four Loko. The first college to ban Four Loko to our knowledge.
October 25th - – 9 Freshman At Central Washington Are Brought to the Hospital With Alchol Posioning Blamed On Four Loko. For whatever reason this seems to be what suddenly caused schools to start sending out their obligatory Four Loko Warnings.
October 28th – Umass and BC sends out a warning to entire student body about Four Loko
November 4th – Chicago bans Four Loko
November 5th – In the most bizarre event of the Four Loko madness Somerville comes out of nowhere and bans Four Loko. Relax Somerville. You’re Somerville.
November 11th – URI takes the unprecedented step of banning Four Loko on a dry campus
November 16th – The state of Massachusetts announces plans to ban Four Loko
November 17th – Four Loko Announces that in anticipation of Nationwidde ban they will take the caffeine out of the drink
So there you have it. That’s pretty much the entire chain of events for this Four Loko saga. Even though we started talking about it in August, most of the negative publicity only started about 3 weeks ago. In other words it took less than one month for most people to have gone from never hearing of Four Loko before to legislators enforcing a nationwide band and forcing them to take the caffeine out of their product. Remarkable. And even more remarkable is the fact that there isn’t a shred of evidence that it is any more dangerous than any other alcoholic drink on the market. It seems like this entire push is because a couple college kids got alcohol poising which I’m guessing happens every single weekend on every campus since the beginning of time with our without Four Loko involved. Yet somehow these critics are making it seem like the combo of mixing caffeine with alchol is to blame and is brand new? Like how can the Government ban one thing because it is deemed too dangerous and not even say a peep about Red Bulls and Vodka? It’s the same exact thing isn’t it? Granted I know Red Bull isn’t packaged with alcohol but bars can legally sell Red Bull and Vodka’s as a mixed drink so what’s the difference? There is none. It seems like Four Loko is somehow being punished for being cheaper and marketed towards college kids? I don’t know, the whole thing is so bizarre and so Un-American. You have people making decisions on what people can legally drink without any rhyme or reason and they are doing it quicker than I’ve ever seen anything like this move before.