Umm I hate to break it this dad, but you know who else was the best 4th grade athlete in the country when he was in the 4th grade? Yours truly. No joke. I was just trying to figure out whether I wanted to go pro in baseball, football or hockey. 38 power sweep to the house every fucking play. Hat tricks coming out of my ass. 2 and 3 HR games like it was going out of style. Seriously I played clinic baseball when I was 3. And now look at me. I blog for a living. All I’m saying is just because your kid can dribble 2 basketballs at once I wouldn’t go planning my retirement party quite yet. Not to mention the fact it’s tough to be a 5’7 white kid and get a D1 scholarship for hoops.

PS – In case you don’t believe me about how good I was here is a video as well as a scouting report from ESPN’s Director of Scouting Todd McShay

El Pres If you had to scout Dave Portnoy as a pop Warner player how would you describe him?

McShay - LaDainian Tomlinson-esque. By far the best Pop Warner player I ever played with. I thought maybe we had a chance to play in Florida at Disneyworld for the championships because every time you touched the ball you scored. Unfortunately you peaked at 9 years old and were help in High School.