FAIRFIELD, N.J. — An MTV reality show that depicts Italian-American beachgoers as the “hottest, tannest, craziest Guidos” is offensive to Italian-Americans and should be scrapped before it airs, a national Italian-American organization says. UNICO National said Tuesday that “Jersey Shore” relies on crude stereotypes and highlights cursing, bad behavior and violence in depicting renters at a New Jersey beach house. A promo describes the participants thusly: “They keep their hair high, their muscles juiced and their fists pumping all summer long!”

I got to admit I’m a little bit offended by this show too. I mean how does MTV have “Jersey Shore” and not invite Tommy Cheeseballs to participate? That’s like a crime against guido humanity or something. Dude fucking invented the Jersey Shore. Now as far as the UNICO people go, I’m not sure what they’re getting so riled up with. I mean nobody is prouder of being called a guido than guidos. They fucking love it. It’s like a badge of honor. And being a guido isn’t necessarily about being Italian either. It’s about being from Jersey, being orange looking and having a shit load of product in your hair. That’s what being a Guido is all about. Like Manzo is as Italian as it gets but he’s also the opposite of a guido. Dude wears khaki pants and a blue shirt ever day of his life and is pale as a motherfucker. Bottom-line is that if you’re offended by the term Guido than you’re not one and don’t have to worry about it anyway. Because real Guidos take it as a compliment. Always.