It’s With A Heavy Heart We Bring You A Monday Morning Tradition Like None Other – Ranking Gronk’s TD Spikes
In light of recent development I debated whether I should have cancelled today’s edition of “Ranking Gronk’s TD Spikes”. I wasn’t sure it was the right time or the place for it. However as a wise man once said… “Do Your Job.” So that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I can’t control what I can’t control. I’m a blogger so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to blog. I’m going to do my job. Plus I’m pretty sure Gronk is going to put a huge ass cast on his forearm and just beat people over head with it. Hell he may like it so much he may never take it off Cowboy Bob Orton style. Anyway onto the spikes…
SPIKE #1
My initial reaction when Gronk scored here was “Man he’s just running out of ideas” He knows that he can’t just do a straight spike anymore so he did that little dance because that’s all he could think of. But this is why you never underestimate Gronk. Because what appeared to be a fairly benign spike was instantly transformed when he scared the shit out of the ref. Just a little reminder that while theatrics are great the guts of the Gronk spike is still the sheer power he brings to it. The power to make a grown man cower and fear for his life.
Rating -8.4
Spike #2
And this is the perfect example of what makes Gronk the most marketable athlete on the planet. It’s not just the talent. It’s the showmanship. In TD #1 he made the ref shit his pants with his spike. So what does he do for an encore with TD #2? He taunts the ref. He points at him before he unleashes the thunder. It was a subtle move that could have been missed by the non trained eye, but not me. Bravo good sir. Bravo.
Spike Rating – 8.0
Now most importantly godspeed getting healthy Gronk. I’ve heard through the grapevine that Gronk heals at 3x the rate of normal human beings so at least we have that going for us.




shouldn’t this be called “rating gronk’s spikes” not ranking, clean it up gonzo
Marketable? The guy is an insufferable douche.
tough news for jersey-chasing sluts of the Greater Boston area. no getting Gronked missionary for 4-6 weeks.
good thing about gronk being out is these dumb blogs wont be posted for a few weeks
Gods speed gronk
A spike after scoring a TD? Where does he come up with this stuff??
surprise u didn’t “WAKE UP WITH GRONK TODAY” or BIEBER.U FAG.
FEEL BAD FOR ALL THE LADIES OUT THERE WHO R GONNA BE GETTING GRONKED ON PERCS
Gronk might try to simple spike his broken arm
Over/Under on the number of times El Pres is gonna feature the SAME picture of these two trash bags with the Yo Soy Fiesta sign? Clean it up PortNose, clean it up!!!!
The ref was smart to cover his nuts, if that football bounced into them, it would turn him into a eunuch. Get well soon Gronk.
Gronk is just going to get a full cast from elbow to club and palm passes for the next 4 weeks.
Edelman’s spike packed some punch though