Japan Invents Way To Control Girls With Joystick

engadget - For some of you, like this guy (look at his face!), this is a dream come true, no questions asked. The rest will be wondering what the hell is going on here. See, that bicycle helmet affixed with what looks like a robotic crab is a not so subtle, ear tugging navigational device that could ultimately benefit the sight-impaired or anyone, really — it pulls on the left ear to direct the wearer to the left, on the right to go right.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. The biggest mystery on earth is how we invented the Atom Bomb before the Japanese did. I mean what were they just sleeping over there? Because I’m pretty sure if you can invent a helmet that controls chicks and makes them give you blowjobs with a joystick you can fucking create a nuclear bomb in like 2 seconds.

PS – If you don’t think I’m buying this helmet and then sticking it on NY smokeshow from yesterday when she’s not looking you’re fucking nuts. I literally lost my breath for like 9 seconds when I saw her the first time.

- Thanks to CJack for tip