What is this blast from the past day at the Stool? First Sammy Adams passing out and now this. Jenna Marbles mind fucking the shit out of me. Just flat mind fucked the shit out of my ass. This is pretty much the only thing I’ve ever said I wanted from her. A sincere thank you for pulling her out of a tanning salon and putting her on the path to stardom. As far as I know this is the first time she’s ever done that. And yes this is a fairly accurate portrayal in 20 seconds of what happened here. All the people who say I fired her and screwed up, I really didn’t. She didn’t like blogging. Never did. She wanted to make videos and that’s it. She didn’t need us to do that. Her time was always going to end at Barstool because she was outgrowing us. I knew that. I just wanted a simple thank you. Well now I guess I got it.
The only clarification I need to make is that Jenna already had her new gig when she left us. She was already signed by an agent. I read the contract and told her she should do it. That’s why people who say I’m jealous of her success have no idea what they are talking about. I was happy for her. She was already making more with her videos than her salary with us. She had already made it on her own. If she didn’t have a fall back plan she’d still be working here. She knew that. I told her I’d pay her as long as I could keep the lights on and I meant it. That’s why I was so fucking enraged about the way it ended. I honestly felt like I treated her like a sister from the time she started till the time she left and then she kind of spit in my eyeball on the way out the door making it seem I abruptly pulled the plug on her and threw her out into the world with no regard for her life. It couldn’t have been more opposite.
Long story short this was good enough for me. I even think a fucking tear may have snuck out of my eye socket when I watched this. So I’m burying the hatchet. Congrats to Jenna on running the internet. Oh and sorry for saying you were in a porno. That probably wasn’t you after all. If that makes me a softie so be it. Bottom-line is I got bigger fish to fry like running for mayor and shit.