Pro Football Talk – Miami Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter says that as he prepares to face New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady on Sunday, he has to prepare for a particularly difficult challenge: A quarterback who gets protected by a special set of rules. Asked by Rich Eisen on NFL Network’s Around the League whether Brady has a special set of rules to take care of him, Porter went off. “No question,” Porter said. “When a guy can tell a ref when to throw a flag, and he gets it, he’s got his own rules. They made the rule that you don’t go at the legs for Tom, so when he feels that someone is going at his legs, he just points to the ref and he gets a flag. So I can honestly say that he gets his own rules.”

Dammit!  The Patriots and the NFL had the perfect plan worked out.  To protect Tom Brady and Tom Brady only, all other quarterbacks be damned.  And they would’ve gotten away with it, if it weren’t for that meddling linebacker.  But I can see they’re no match for Joey Porters brilliant powers of deduction.  He’s not only tied for the title of the NFL’s second dirtiest player, he’s also Sherlock Holmes.  I’m sure the Pats and the league were hoping no one would notice that Roughing the Passer penalties are only called when Brady’s in there, but you can’t put anything past Joey Porter by golly.  He’s seen Peyton Manning get prison shanked right on the field, Drew Brees get tasered and Ben Roethlisberger get stabbed with a trident, without so much as flag flying.  It was all part of the vast pigskin conspiracy set up to unfairly deny Porter and the Dolphins another all-important AFC East Championship ring like the one he was bragging about earlier in the week.  But you’ve got to get up pretty early in the morning to fool him.