(HuffPo) – Melvin Roberts of South Carolina has been struck by lightning an unbelievable six times. He believes that his record with lightning is connected to his record with marriage: “I’ve married five time and I’ve been hit by lightning five times. But [his sixth wife] says this is the sixth time and I’m not leaving my wife, so I’m going to have to do something different.” To place Roberts’ run of bad luck in context – scientists say that there There is a 1 in 9,000,000 chance of being struck by lightning twice – they do not have figures for how likely it is to be struck six times.

I don’t understand what Melvin Roberts is trying to prove here. Dude, your time is up. Has been for a while now. Haven’t you ever heard that it’s better to go out in a blaze of glory than it is to flicker out? Jesus, can’t be anything more annoying than getting struck by lightning six times. Shit has to be damn near unbearable. I bit my tongue twice this morning while I was having my Wheaties and I was ready to stick my head in the oven. So the second I took a billion volts of electricity to the dick I would bow out of this life so fucking quickly. I’m no hero. Not trying to be the Brett Favre of getting struck by lightning.

Love how Melvin blames his ex-wives though. Absolutely vicious. Even in divorce he won’t let them be. When I saw “He believes that his record with lightning is connected to…” I thought for sure he was going to have a metal vertebrae or something. Nope! Just a gaggle of bitter ex-wives who have an in with Zeus.