You knew this one was coming right? The lovely ladies of Stoollala. Let’s start with the most obvious. Anybody who knows anything about the Stool knows I got to fuck Kim. That’s the easy one for me. Although I think Abby would sneaky be bonkers in the sack Kim is too much in my Asian wheelhouse. One time I’d just love to be like “hey shut up Kim and let’s just fuck already”. As far who I’d marry, the fact that I see Jenna in the office everyday means I probably can’t kill her right? I mean who would run Stoollala? So even though she’s more like a sister now and I’m sure we’d just nag the shit out of each other for the rest of our lives I’ll marry her. Bonus points because I love her new dog. So that means I’m killing the new kid Abby. Oh well somebody had to die right? Nature of the beast. Plus I’m too old for her anyways.
Marry – Jenna
Fuck – Kim
Kill – Abby
PS – I can’t wait till Stoollala does this with the guys of Barstool. I’m going to break the record for most marries and fucks at once. Chicks like breaking their cunts trying to vote twice for me. Just killing the shit out of the Sales Guy, Devlin, KFC, Kmarko, Old man Thornton, UB or whoever else gets in my way.