(I just saw that Mo just posted a similar MFK with both Lauren Tannehill and Katherine Webb before I got to post mine which kind of sucks. The good news though is that apparently he doesn’t even know who Lauren Tannehill is because he posted a picture of somebody who clearly isn’t her so that kind of makes his MFK null and void. I guess all blond girls look the same to him.)
Before I get into this MFK, do you think Tom Brady ever watches games like last night and when he sees Katherine Webb is like “fuck why did I get married” Because it’s 100% a fact he could just walk in and cuckhold any of these three whenever he felt like it. Be like your with me now and that would be that. He’s the richest, most famous, best looking QB on the planet. I mean sometimes I get mad at myself for being married just on the chance I may have been able to fuck a 4 at a Blackout Party. I can’t even imagine going through life knowing you could fuck any 10 you wanted whenever you wanted if you didn’t tie the knot. How do you live with yourself? And don’t give me this Gisele mumbo jumbo. I don’t care how hot you are eventually you get tired of fucking the same chick.
Anyway onto this MFK. Almost impossible to choose. I’m going to start with the fuck and go with Johnny Manziel’s girlfriend Sarah Savage. Now truthfully I don’t even know if they are dating anymore because Manziel was spotting partying with a ridiculous blond after the Cotton Bowl, but that doesn’t even matter. Manziel seems about 1 billion times more fun than both McCarron and Tannehill so I’m going to assume his girlfriends are more fun too. Just wildcats in the sack. So this wasn’t really a looks decision as opposed to a personality decision. Next I’m going to kill Katherine Webb. Yeah she’s super hot, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a more obvious gold digger. Like even at the end of the game when everybody was congratulating McCarron she just kept fixing her hair and looking directly at the cameras. Couldn’t care less that her boyfriend just won the National Championship. Just wanted face time with the cameras. No shame in that game. I suppose there is nothing wrong with it, I just wouldn’t want to marry her. That means I’m marrying Lauren Tannehill simply by default.
Marry – Lauren Tannehill
Fuck – Sarah Savage
Kill – Katherine Webb