Marry Fuck Kill
Kathryn Tappen
Erin Andrews
Heidi Watney
Well if you consider 35,000 people voting on Marry,Fuck, Kill yesterday a success than Marry, Fuck, Kill was a success. Basically double the amount of people who can fit at the Garden for a game. No biggie. Seriously would somebody fucking buy the Stool already?
Anyway there was lots of debate on today’s matchup centering around Kathryn Tappen’s inclusion. Basically I wanted to put Heidi and Erin Andrews in the ring together and Tappen seemed like a logical 3rd choice. Hazel Mae’s name was thrown around a bit, but I settled on Tappen. I think she’s earned it. The sales guy says she’s going to get killed by 97% of the voters. Says it’s a mismatch. That it’s barbaric to put her in the ring with these two. I think he’s crazy. I think she’s going to be married by 97% of the votes. Like who would marry Erin Andrews or Heidi Watney? No thanks. I don’t need chicks running around creating peephole videos behind my back or sleeping with the entire Red Sox roster. I want a woman who I know will have dinner ready when I come home from work and likes to golf. That’s Kathryn Tappen. So for me she’s a no brainer marry. Then I got to kill Erin Andrews because I’m not going to give her the satisfaction of banging her. So it’s fuck Heidi Watney. I’m comfortable with that.
Marry – Katheryn Tappen’
Fuck – Heidi Watney (with a condom)
Kill – Erin Andrews
there none of you fucking losers can post first. get a life
Meh, all blondes.
I hope you patent this idea Dave.
kill kathryn tappen!!!!
somebody needs to tell him it’s FUCK MARRY KILL…not marry fuck kill. it sounds so much better. say it fast
Marry Erin Andrews.
Tap Tappen.
Kill Watney.
I’ll buy the stool. How does $5 bucks sound?
Oh and this is the best thing that’s happened on the Stool in a while, A+++.
jeez, no love for tappan kathryn?
what’s wrong with you people??
Pres has it right, and would have still had it right with Hazel Mae instead of Tappen.
Marry Watney
Fuck Andrews
Kill Tappen
Sorry, Tappen’s not hot enough.
I have to agree with prez on this one
Poor Kathryn Tappen just getting destroyed in the kill votes. Broad never stood a chance.
What about Charissa Thompson, the chick reporter from Versus who worked the B’s game last night? Straight fire.
except that i’d def raw dog watney
Pres you should make a section on the side with the voting results from past and present MFK’s
M-F-K right in that order. Tappen loves hockey, has big tits, and seems like an all around nice person/mom. Can’t beat that. The other ones would run around buying expensive shit and try to fuck athletes.
No brainer on Marry.
There’s only one Garden and its on 8th Ave. in NYC you dick.
Tappen would be rated much higher exept for the fact that my 90 year old grandmother dresses her. For Christs skae Kathryn I know you want to be taken seriously but enough with the sweates already.
So I went marry Tappen cause I love hockey and so does she, fuck Erin and kill Heidi,
I’m killing Andrews too. She probably banged everyone at ESPN and Dancing with the Stars.
Marry Tappen, Fuck Andrews, Kill Hiedi
First, I want to say that you are entirely un-original!! You’re fuckin rippin off Howard Stern whereas “Marry, Fuck, Kill” is his baby. So you should give credit where it is due.
That being said….My rationale
I would Marry Erin Andrews to ensure that I could fuck that luscious, round ass everyday when I woke up and before I went to bed. I’d stuff that ass 24/7
I would Fuck Heidi Watney…. She looks like that all-American girl who need a stiff, rigid fuck…nail her real good and leave some DNA in her and move on
Katheryn Tappen just looks like a miserable cunt who wont even allow you to blow a load on her, let alone leave one inside her or take it in the ass… for these reasons this bitch would just need to be killed.
LOL. Love Howard!
MKF
Should’ve added Michelle Beadle to this.
at least Tappen’s a big hockey fan, i’ll marry that…Heidi can’t hold a candle to Erin, kill her
Murphy82 says:
December 8, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Tappen has big tits? How the fuck can you tell you with that Little House on the Prairie wardrobe she’s always sporting? Or maybe she’s amish
This guy likes Tappen:
http://sonsofsimmons.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/tappen2.jpg
Hey Pres, Fuck the Woodhead tshirt…..you need to be on this like now!!! “I’d rather be tappin’ Tappen” BAMMMMMMMMMMMM Money maker, now send me my 500 bucks!!!!!
youwillnevergetthis says:
December 8, 2010 at 1:08 pm
There’s only one Garden and its on 8th Ave. in NYC you dick.
what a dump that place is
nice green screen Tappen
BTW Tappen is married to Jay Leach of the Worcester Sharks…KILL HER!
Where is INES SAINZ? I guess that just would’t be fair?
marry Tappen kill Andrews(cunt) fuck Watney
I’m just glad you didn’t put Jade McCarthy on this list. Is there a more annoying person on Boston TV. She looks like she is constipated, and her voice makes me want to put a bullet in my head. On second thought, list her tomorrow, so that I can vote to kill her.
Below Average, Average Blonde, Average Blonde = KILL KILL KILL. What a disapointment after yesterdays match up.
Voted the same as you, Pres. Which means you’re thinking like a chick. Or I’m a closeted gay blogger dude.
I’m killing Heidi simply because I still can’t get that horrible image of her in a wet suit out of my head. And don’t sleep on Tappen. NESN makes her cover those fun bags for a reason
Man if you put Hazel Mae I would have sat her for 20 minutes trying to figure out what I was going to do
poor kathryn
Marriage sucks, I’d rather fuck.
Madison Square Garden is a fucking shit hole. Sweet banners for Billy Joel and Elton John too.
Who the hell cares who had the idea first?? Everyone rips off everyone else so what does it matter? Everyone else rips off Howard’s ideas (and I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t get it from somewhere else too) so why shouldn’t Pres?? Good for you Pres. I love the addition to the site! I like the way you implemented it to. Works great.
i went the same way as pres. andrews is an attention whore cunt, watney is fuckable but a known whore. i would take tappen home and introduce her to my parents.
Marry Erin Andrews, fuck Heidi. Why? Getting to fuck Erin Andrews everyday like someone else said is worth it.
Remember when the video of Erin came out and Heidi’s comments? She hates Erin Andrews. Tell her Erin Andrews is your wife, Heidi is going to make your head spin. She’ll be paraphrasing the Tebow speech “I promise you one thing, A lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any woman in the country fuck you as hard as I will fuck you the rest of your life”
Mike Francesa says:
December 8, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Where is INES SAINZ? I guess that just would’t be fair?
Reply:
Ines Sainz – Fuck
Andrews – Kill
Watney – Marry
Sainz is the game changer.
Kill – Pres
Fuck – Jenna
Marry – Jerry?
Kill Pres
Fuck Jenna
Marry Abby
hazel mae is hotter than tappen
Poor Tappen never stood a chance. Like feeding Christians to the lions…
Hazel Mae instead of Kathryn Tappen would have made that an excruciating pick.
MSG > TD Shit Garden. MSG is over 40 years old hence the overhaul in renovations. Best place to watch a game hands down.
AGREED PRES
why would you kill erin andrews you faggot
Kill Andrews. I hate narcissists.
Marry Erin
Fuck Heidi
Kill Tappen
Sorry to say Pres but sales guy was right, Tappen is outclassed. If you voted Marry Heidi you are a homer and a homo, Erin is fire.
Love the new game. Nobody wants to buy a website directly tied to one blogger on his way out.. will be hard to dig yourself out after being so egocentric all these years, but gimmicks like this can slowly remove El Pres from the equation and allow you to cash out.
Pres, If you do Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, and Kate Beckinsale I will break out into hives and possible go into rage spasms trying to decide.
Give it a fucking break with the “Howard stern owns this” shit. People have been doing this long before Stern started it. There is no way half these dudes do not have a vagina between their legs. Jesus Christ.
Anyway, Pres, you need to give the sales guy a raise. Dude was money. Tappen aint shit.
F Tappen – why not? she’s hot enough for once.
K Andrews – where’s lobstersClaw when you need his insight?
M Watney – she’s eye-candy everyday. So what if she bangs the whole clubhouse, you get access to all the Sox’ private parties!
Numero Two says:
December 8, 2010 at 2:17 pm
Are you shitting me? Beckinsale in a fucking landslide. Knightley & Portman are built like two of the fucking jonas brothers
K Tappen
F Andrews
M Watney
Sainz, Beadle, Sterger?
i agree with pres on this one 100%.
also, i can’t believe 74% of you clowns are dispatching kathryn tappen. you’re out of your minds.
can we do this with patriots running backs…in a nongay way of course
I’m marrying Tappen so I can just sleep in those giant love pillows all day long.
If you marry one of them, does that imply that you get to fuck them too, because that might be a stretch….
where is MICHELLE BEADLE?!?!?!?!?!
http://thedugoutsportsshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/espn_michelle.jpg
Like my god people… Marry- I THINK SO!!!
Marry – Erin Andrews. . . her exhibitionist streak would make marriage a interesting;
Fuck – Heidi Watney easily the hottest of the group;
Kill – Kathryn Tappen…the least hottest of the group…but it’s a pretty good group.
Signed,
5MinuteMajor, the first guy to ever play Marry, Fuck, Kill on Barstool Sports
The reason you marry Tappan is because she is the least prettiest of the three which means she makes up for it in other areas. Kill Andrews cause she’s a fraud and i’d bang Watney cause i always wanted to bat in a lineup behind Jason Varitek.
i see you took my advice on the participation count…. i almost didnt play this round cuz i felt like i was betraying one of them either way
Tappen a little too preppy for my tastes.
I’d F Andrews, then F Watney. If I had to marry one, I’d go with Andrews. Who cares if you got divorced in a year, it would be a fun year. I would enjoy the h*ll out of piebald.
Fuck all you Pussies. And you Fukin meatballs KNOW howard invented this fuckin game. But who gives a fuck. I stole your wife and plowed her in the ass…. Now do you care?
Eat me.
When will it be El Pres, Jerry, and Jenna?
Kill El Pres
Fuck Jerry
Marry Jenna
Marry- Heidi, Fuck- Kathryn, Kill- Erin. And to the douchebag talking about msg, The Original Garden was in Boston, not ny and our new garden carries on the legacy of the Original. Now go fellate a handgun
marry tappen fuck heidi kill erin erin is a whore but not in the good way and look at that fucking look in heidi’s eye it’d be one hell of a time. kathryn has the im a sweet person but can still break your dick off thing going for her and because of that she gets the nod for marry
Twatney is marriage material, all while I’m tappin’ Tappen, and killin’ Andrews.
Is it me or does Tappen look like a short version of Dee Reynolds?
youwillnevergetthis says:
December 8, 2010 at 1:08 pm
There’s only one Garden and its on 8th Ave. in NYC you dick.
Fuck you faggot. That place is a shit hole. Boston Gahden for life.
Marry Heidi, kill Erin cause I’m so fuckin sick of her, and hate fuck Tappen’s asshole raw for driving Hazel out of Boston.
this is the best game i have ever seen
Marry: Erin… love that hot bitch.
Fuck: Watney because she fucked the entire dugout, no way I’m marrying that.
Kill: Tappen
I can’t believe people are saying Hazel Mae would have been a gamechanger. Are you guys out of your minds? My brother has a thing for Asians and even he admitted she doesn’t hold a candle to these 3.
And to the douchebag who was talking about Madison Square Garden being the only Garden, you do realize that the original Boston Garden opened in 1928 when Madison Square Garden opened in 1968, right? Shut the fuck up you ignorant NY cunt.
How is Watney marriage material? Even if she was loyal to you, you still have to deal with the fact that she’s working on a daily basis with 10 dudes that have railed her in a Fenway janitor closet 50 times each.
You guys are crazy. I love Kathryn Tappen. She’s super-adorable and out of the three appears to be the most loyal. I personally think she’s much more attractive than Andrews. Watney fucked grizzly Varitek and that just weirds me out too much to consider her as marriage material.
Fuck: Watney
Kill: Andrews
Marry: Tappen
how could you pass up fucking or marrying erin andrews…are you all out of ur fucking minds
vote totals breaking records
Yeah tell that asshole!
1ManWolfPack says:
December 8, 2010 at 8:13 pm
And to the douchebag who was talking about Madison Square Garden being the only Garden, you do realize that the original Boston Garden opened in 1928 when Madison Square Garden opened in 1968, right? Shut the fuck up you ignorant NY cunt.
kathryn tappen? you might as well have just put a fucking ugly retard in that 3rd slot
EP youre retarded. obviously you kill tappen, shes nowhere NEAR the levels of hotness the other 2 are. you dont wanna marry erin andrews, too much of a hassle, so you fuck her. you DEFINITELY marry watney, shes under the radar enough that shes not gonna fuck every dude you know. besides, even if she walks into the kitchen with pedroia, i dont give a fuck, i get to see her every day and fuck her whenever