(Note: The video has no sound and is still-framed until :40 in. Do not adjust your television sets.)

Greensboro, N.C. – Just two days back from extended spring training, Master Yogi Berra was ejected by home plate umpire Jason Hutchings between the third and fourth innings of the ‘Hoppers 9-6 loss to the Asheville Tourists Tuesday afternoon at NewBridge Bank Park. Battling a stomach virus and fever, Yogi attempted his usual between inning promotion of fetching a ball shot to deep center field. Sprinting back to the home dugout, he inexplicably stopped and let nature take its course. Hutchings immediately tossed him, and in doing so, it is believed that he made Yogi the first dog to ever be ejected from a professional baseball game. “When you gotta go, you gotta go,” said Grasshoppers’ Team President, General Manager, and Yogi’s owner, Donald Moore. “Yogi’s had a tough start to his season, and I hope this doesn’t get him down. He clearly couldn’t control himself out there. He’s such a competitor and he wanted to do his duties as he’s been trained,” continued Moore. He left the ballpark in the 6th inning with the Team Veterinarian Jason Streck, of the After Hours Veterinary Emergency Clinic, and is listed as day-to-day.

I know this story is from last week, but the video just came out and without that, it simply wasn’t blog worthy. In the TV news business they say “If it bleeds, it leads.” In the blogosphere the adage goes “Don’t waste your time posting a story about a mascot shitting on the field unless you’ve got film of the actual dump in question.” Which doesn’t roll off the tongue quite the same way, but it’s just as important. But get a load of the umpire. Here you’ve got Master Yogi Berra with a stomach bug, playing hurt, gutting it out with what could Swine Flu for all he knows, but he stays in the lineup, does what they ask him to do, and he gets run for it. Hey Ump, get over yourself. No one paid to come watch you umpire there, Blue. Now MYB’s probably looking at a fine or suspension or probably both. The Grasshoppers’ manager should’ve dropped trou and deposited a steamer right on the umps shoe for this call, the way Don Zimmer used to. And show me in the rule book where it says you can’t drop a deuce on the field. If they outlawed that in Greyhound Racing, the whole industry would have to shut down, and nobody wants that.