Ad sellers frequently complain that agency buyers demand gifts and entertainment from them. Here’s a good example. This morning, a Zenith Media supervisor sent a blind email blast (published below) to a number of vendors asking them to pay for food to be delivered to a downtown bar. It’s svp James Kiernan’s last day with the company, and the agency wants to celebrate. It just doesn’t want to pay for or arrange the the wings and tater tots.
The email was sent at 10.14 this morning.
“Hello party people,
Looking forward to seeing you all tonight!
I have two favors that I hope you can help me with – as it is James’ going away party, everyone is already expecting it to be 1000000x crazier than any other going away party. Also, [downtown bar] is known to serve all cocktails in a 16 oz beer glass, so double the alcohol for everyone!
1) Would a few of you mind pre-ordering food this evening (delivery time around 7-8) to be delivered to the bar? Want to make sure no one gets too tanked at 7 pm
2) Would another kind saint deliver some Gatorades and greasy breakfast sandwiches to the agency tomorrow morning around 9:30 (I can be the point of contact)? As it’s Thursday and not a Friday, we can’t have work productivity start at 3 pm.. when the hangovers go away! We need to make sure our collective campaigns are on track! We have a dept of around 90 people…
Thanks in advance and see you tonight!”
Fucking media agencies. People who have been following Barstool for a long time know that I think agencies are the most useless/corrupt group of people in the history of earth. And this is agency 101 right here boys and girls. It reminds me of the time I was supposed to meet with Hill Holiday to explain what we do and they told me I had to buy them lunch and even gave me a list of acceptable restaurants for their tastes. Hey Hill Holiday FUCK YOU bro. You should be taking me out to lunch you imbeciles. Like it’s your job to know what Barstool or any major media outlet does so you can choose wisely for your clients. That’s what you’re getting paid to do. But think ad agencies give a fuck? Nope. They basically steal their clients money and simply spend it on whoever gives them the most tickets, food, money perks. Who cares if it works or not? Nobody can track it anyway. It’s white collar crime at it’s finest. The only good news is that if Barstool ever goes belly up I know I can just start my own media agency that actually tries to help clients rather than just robs em blind. It would be revolutionary.