DMA new website hopes to bridge the gap between criminals behind bars and the outside world. lists hundreds of photo personals of inmates looking to share intimate letters with just the right stranger. The site says that many prisoners are ‘fun’ and ‘loving’ like everyone else… they’ve just committed felonies.

At first glance this is pretty laughable. Who the fuck would ever date an inmate when there are plenty of nice, wholesome, non-murderous girls to chat up? But when you think about it a little more, it’s kind of perfect. Sex is the deciding factor in a relationship. That’s it. No one actually enjoys hanging out with or talking to girls. It’s like dealing with a different species. But when it comes to felons you don’t have to deal with that nagging. You don’t have to go to family events or their friend’s surprise birthday party. It’s straight fucking. And, considering that you have a dick, you’re gonna be the hottest thing she’s seen in the last 25 to life. You’re her perfect mate. Practically have yourself a personal sex slave. You get to bone then put her back in her cage until she’s ready to go again. Plus you know it’s gonna be nasty as fuck. Chicks don’t have prison sex in the shower for the better part of a decade then get a nut without bringing out the freaky deaky. So I’ll holla, ladies. Let’s get conjugal as a motherfucker. I just wish they looked a bit more like this: