Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
Pres, This is our friend James from UNH, or as everyone calls him Venty. Our man can’t dress, we love him but he really needs help. Venty killed a turkey once and now thinks he’s fucking Bear Grylls, and can wear camo whenever he wants. He looks like a 40 year old man and he’s barely 20 years old. He considers dressing up in a red lumberjack flannel or wearing anything labeled “Hingham” as looking nice. Please help us change his look.