Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
This is my buddy and hack Barstool Chicago blogger– the one and only whitesoxdave. The least the Barstool Empire can do for whitesox dave is Pimp His Look. He’s been getting the Neil treatment in the comment sections, his beloved white sox collapsed down the stretch, and his beard has him striking out looking before he even steps into the batter’s box every Friday/Saturday night. As Dave finishes his storied college baseball career and moves on to the real world, he’s going to need clothes that weren’t picked up at the North Central College lost and found. Sure, over time, a full 30-rack of Keystone will eventually spill down the front of any Milton’s Outfit he rocks; but damn, it’ll look better than the White Sox Jersey or Aeropostale T’s spotted with beer
In all seriousness, the kid’s the absolute man– last guy with a beer in his hand at night, first to crack open a keystone in the morning. Another buddy once said “Dave is so loyal that if you asked him to punch a baby, he’d kill it for you”. And don’t worry stoolies, Dave will be up in Boston pitching and snorting fried chicken like his idol Bobby Jenks come April.
Give back to whitesox dave— he earned it.
Viva la Stool,