Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
Ok so here’s the deal Pres, I have this roommate Jesse, hilarious dude, Junior here at WNEC, the school mascot (The Golden Bear), he is the dude and everybody knows him. But he dresses like an absolute goon, he tries to justify what he wears by saying, “the ladies will get it”. Which we all kind of respect, but the ladies don’t Pres.. none of them do. His go-to choice for a night out: his grandfathers alligator skin belt, a 90′s cashmere sweater (that his ex-girlfriend from high schools father gave him), his Rubinof soaked jorts from the night before, the same work boots hes been wearing since freshman year, and one black and one white sock. He’s been seen sporting a leather trench coat around campus in the spring, looking like a straight coke dealer.. or pedophile, preventing any chance for him to get laid. He had this idea that blondes have more fun, so he dyed his hair blonde. (Hes not having more fun) Now we have this Malfoy looking pedophile lurking around campus just preventing any poon from coming within a hundred feet of him or anyone around him. He is the face of Wnec, he is the golden bear, and if anyone at Wnec needs this, it’s this guy. He’s a great guy don’t get me wrong but her he just needs the right people to put him together. Just trying to get my buddy laid here el Pres, do us all a favor and help this bro out.