Miltons Pimp My Look
This kid has a soul patch. A goddamn soul patch. Not even sure Miltons can help someone with such a misguided sense of style.
Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to pimpmylook@barstoolsports.com or pimpmydate@barstoolsports.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
Today’s Contestant
Reader Email
So here is the deal, Kenan Krug is a straight up BOSS, first and foremost. He could also be certifiably insane, but in a totally fun and non-lethal way. For example he is obsessed with actually capturing a bigfoot, randomly yells and screams when driving his mini-van WELL over the speed limit, and has decided that he will have his body strapped to a viking-style longship and burnt at sea for his funeral. The kind of guy who’s stories almost always start with, this one time when I was drinking, and end with, so the big girl told me to marry her and I ran! That’s what we are dealing with. Honestly, you have no chance of finding more of a wildcard of a human being anywhere, 5’5 of straight unstoppable fury. However, while awesome, his Hawaiian shirts and occasionally ridiculous camo clothing (he is an avid hunter), kind of hamper female opinions of him. We just want to unleash that inner sexy-man inside Kenan by hooking him up with some nice clothes, and a new style before he terrifies the ladies with his wildness….or enchants them. That’s up to your contest.
Help Our Friend Get SEXY
The Bridgewater State University Crew
Pope Hall – Triple, Room 300-something, I don’t know it’s your first door on the left.
P.S. – PREZ COME MAKE OUR SCHOOL FUN. PLEASE.
Viva La Stool
Makes McLovin look like Clay Matthews.
So here are the requirements to be a contestant:
1. you have to be fucken ugly as sin
2. you have to send in multiple pictures dressed as an ass hole (halloween costumes highly encouraged)
3. you have to make zany poses and faces
4. one of your friends has to be secretly gay for you
5. you can never have had sex without exchanging money
Anything I missed?
5’5…ouch
This competition has to be the gayest thing on the site, even gayer than all the Bieber love. Anyone who begs El Pres to “help our friend get SEXY” obviously wants his cock. It’s as simple as that.
He may be 5’5″ but at lease he weighs 128 pounds. And has brains enough to get into Bridgewater. Why would he need any help when God has given him so much?
Sorry, one more thing. Not too many avid hunters in Massachusetts. Did he come from another part of the country to go to BSC?
seems like the fact that he is 5’5 and is into chugging cock might kind of hamper female opinions of him more than the clothing
^^ lease = least
Seriously. If you go to Bridgewater State, dont worry about pussy now. Once you get that diploma and start making millions, you will need to beat the chicks away with a stick.
This guy may be the first contestant that I actually like. No Homo. His buddies on the other hand, from Pope Hall – Triple, Room 300-something, I don’t know it’s your first door on the left, are wicked gay.
ummm…This shit just isn’t funny.
The only thing he’s a boss of is a dick chugging contest
He should use the first picture on his application for Avis Rent-A-Car.
Thats not the first helmet he’s had hovering around his face
no doubt this kid wrote this himself. tried a little self deprecation with the height, but its as clear as his schedule
This kid easily wastes away his life on the computer screen playing “World of WarCraft” while his buddies sit around playing tummy sticks, thinking about their “neat” band trophies.
LMFAO. Bridgewater State College
I got mad reading this email….every part was just terrible
agreed. Shit was annoying as hell.
Agreed, this contest has surprised it’s time, well noted by feitelfucks handling of the ship.
found George Costanza’s hat.
Don’t help this squid.
These posts are the worst posts.
These posts are the worst posts.
These posts are the worst posts.
BSc sucks…No way around it.. If u graduated from there ur atuomatically a douche bag.. I went for a semester after being at umass and i thought about beating the shit out of every fucking kid there.. simply gross whores and unattractive over weight frehsman who have a bk mcd’s withdrawls while their in clas. If you want to go becaome a fat stupid whore peice of shit or a douche bag go vist bsc
i want to kick this kids 5 5 ass all over new england. he is a fucking loser his friend musty be some gay little bitch who thinks he is the man for getting on the stool. you faggits are stool samples., BSc get fuck in your stupid ass
Rip on BSC all you want- You have alumni who are Execs well into 6 figures, State Troopers, producers for NBC, teachers who will be teaching your kids some day etc. Same as you would find from a lot of other schools. People go there because they didn’t have everything handed to them on a silver platter and had to pay their own way. Fat stupid whores? You see those at every school. Douche bags? That’s at every school too.
ajbo- how does graduating from BSC make you a douche bag? Doesn’t making an irrational statement on the stool do that? Just because you couldn’t make any friends don’t rip on a descent school.
^^lighten up, francis. maybe you’re right. its a “descent” school
he looks like the human version of crash bandicoot
Kid looks like Harmon from BMS…. a creepy, lil Harmon
as one of his ex gfs he was awesome in bed though