Has there ever been somebody nicknamed Beans who wasn’t a total waste of life?
Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
My friend Beans is a great guy who my friends and I have been close with for most of our lives, but he dresses like such a scrub and it may cost him his relationship with his smoke show girlfriend. She’s way out of his league to begin with and his horrible wardrobe is not helping him at all. The guy literally puts zero effort into his appearance and without your help we don’t think he ever will. If there’s anything you could do to help this poor soul out with his disgusting style it would be greatly appreciated by us all.
Sincerely, His Concerned Best Friend