Don’t expect the comment section to go too good on this one.

Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to or and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.


The Week’s Contestant



Reader Email


This is my dear friend Daniel, a.k.a. “The Yo-Yo Man.”  On any given day, you can find him playing with a yo-yo (which he always carries in his pocket) around the UMASS campus. He’s nationally ranked for professional yo-yoing. Swear to God, google him. He’s practically a pro-athlete, so he’s gotta start dressing like one while he’s slaying all that college pussy, right? Whether he’s wearing a faux denim jacket or a hat that says “filthy” on it, this guy definitely needs to switch up his style. Please help him out. 
Viva La Stool,
P.S. His favorite pick-up line for girls is “I’m a yo-yoer, my fingers are magical”