Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
Please hear us out. We have a friend, great guy, and teammate, he’s just kind of a big slob. Basically he’s on a four shirt rotation and does laundry like once a month so its definitely not a clean situation. I’m going to give you a likely Saturday wardrobe for this dude: He just played an entire football game at offensive line and hasn’t showered but merely wiped the eye black from his face. He’s wearing a reversible Boston University basketball camp practice jersey. A fitted, covering up his matted ass hair and a fifth of captains in his hand. He goes out, blacks out and the next night flips the jersey and does it again. Kind of a beast, he just smells and his clothes are shitty. A change in wardrobe may not and probably will not improve his hygiene but it certainly will afford our friend Kyle Morris the opportunity to not look like a retard as well. Pictures are attached.
Worcester State Football
(It’s a real team)