DM -- Disgruntled neighbours have joined forces to stop a resident vandalising their pristine streets with her artwork. However, this is not your typical graffiti artist but a three-year-old girl who loves drawing with chalks on the street outside her Denver home. Some residents are unimpressed with Emerson Cohen’s drawings, which typically feature hearts and flowers, and argue that she is indulging in criminal activity. The girl’s mother, Sarah Cohen, could not believe it when she heard her daughter’s innocent pastime could be banned after neighbours in Stapleton complained. ‘My initial reaction was, “You have to be kidding me,” ‘ Cohen told CBS. It’s summertime and God forbid my daughter is drawing flowers, her name and hearts,’ Cohen joked to CBS. She said her and her husband chose to move to Stapleton because it was a family-friendly place, adding that she believed the courtyard outside their home was a ‘shared’ area.
Parents are the most insufferable group of people on the planet. Never met one who I didn’t share DNA with and actually liked. All of them think their precious little child is such a gift. Look at her picture! Look at her report card! Look at her shitty drawing of a flower right in the middle of the culdesac! It’s insufferable. Newsflash you idiots: no one thinks your kid is special except you. Yeah, God forbid your kid graffiti flowers and her name and hearts all over the goddamn neighborhood. Because unlike you, everyone sees her for the sniveling little untalented bitch she is. You think she’s such a great artist? Give her a pack of Crayolas and let her turn the living room into the fucking Sistine Chapel. Just keep it out of the shared ares.
PS – the worst sentence in the English language is “you’ll understand when you’re a parent.” If you’ve ever said that, fuck you.